GOT HOME YESTERDAY!

And that's about it.
I was really awake.

Up until 10.00 when I crashed.

Anyway, lots of stuff happened in Spain and Nat will probably write about it.
I am much too tired.
Slash lazy.

Today I Became a Woman

Okay, not really.
But I did decide to exfoliate my armpits.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID idea.

They hurt like fuck right now. Wait, no, that's not right, fucking is probably a lot less painful than the burning sensation I'm feeling on my armpits.
I'm not even kidding.
But seriously, what kind of idiot decides to pumice their armpits?
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!

Do they sell Band- aids in Spain? Because I have a feeling that they're gonna start bleeding at any second.

On a lighter (actually darker and shittier) note, I found out that my dad cheated on my mom. Jesus Christ, I can't even look at him right now. I was out with my sister most of the day. I started thinking about this maybe a week ago (my sister was still in New York).

Basically, I have this vague memory of some woman who wasn't my mother closing the door of my parents' room in our old house in the suburbs. I have another memory of this same woman teaching me how to make a bracelet and me liking her, a lot. The last memory is what I think made my mother find out.

We were sitting in the car and this woman was in the front seat. My mother was fucking dropping her off at a hotel for God's sake! I don't know how the conversation came up, but my mother mentioned something about her staying in our guest room. To this I replied, "No, she stayed in you and daddy's room!".

Ugh.

I know that I have issues with my mom, but honestly, I think I love her most out of all the people in my family. And in case I haven't actually described my issues with my mother in this blog, Natalie knows that it goes much deeper than normal teenage angst. My father needs her so much more than she needs him! God, he's just so particular, but she doesn't think he can do any wrong. The problem is, neither does he. I bet you that he probably doesn't think that he did anything bad!

After I asked my sister about this at lunch today, she was talking about a conversation she had with my father. He was talking about what would happen if Frank ever strayed, and she said that he told her not to get too angry or leave him because IT IS JUST IN MEN'S NATURE! What the hell kind of asshole excuse is that? It's not like every living breathing male has the right or even the need to cheat.

God, I'm so glad I'm leaving tomorrow.
I guess I still have to pack, huh?

P.S. I swatted down a wasp's nest using AT&T Yellow Pages. I was scared shitless the whole time.

HOLY MONKEY!

SPAIN IS IN TWO DAYS!
AAHHHHH!

I just went to a food tasting for my sister's wedding.

Not much to say.

Hopefully today isn't too awkward for Natalie.

Major Confusion to the SBSG Level

SBSG has reestablished contact.
Which is kind of annoying considering he deletes my wall posts on Facebook.

Humm... I am the booty call in the closet.

More like booty text?

Anyway, I got this text from him today (not really exciting)

"Hey are you in town"
(at three in the morning)

Ugh, my reply is idiocy on the fifth level.

"Indeed I am"
but that's how I talk.
my problem is that I replied.

My Neighbor is HOT!

I JUST REALISED THIS AS I WAS IN THE ELEVATOR THIS MORNING!
OH MY GOD!
HE IS GORGEOUS! (for an Asian)

And he's a doctor!
Okay, enough ranting about my neighbor (who looks about 25 :/)

IT'S SYDNEY'S BIRTHDAY!
HURRAH!

I celebrated this at Nat's house at two in the morning.
I ran up and down her street ass naked.
It was pretty cool man.

I think this was the result of the three cups of black coffee I had.

Eventually Nat had to give me tums.

Nat, Alice, Sydney, and I went to a restaurant and ordered kickass steak.
(I did most of the ordering)
And I had the whole "I have this situation HANDLED" attitude DOWN!
Until we started talking about STDs and I commented on gnarly Gonnorhea.
Yuppp.

Happy Birthday Sydney Sex Monkey.

The Result of my Fear of Rape

Ah, sorry about the boring posts lately.
Hopefully this will entertain you!

I was walking my dog and it was like... 9:30 in the evening.
I live downtown so I'm always afraid people are going to attack me and stuff...
A car drives up to me and the passenger window slowly roles down.

(my heart is beating really loudly at this point)
Random Stranger: Hey, we're Dominoes.
Me: GOOD FOR YOU! (quickly paces away)
Light turns Green
Taffy realises that the Random Stranger asked "Where's Dominoes"

Me: WAIT! WAIT! SORRY! I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW!
(while running)

But by then they're already driving off.

Ah, yeah, I probably looked like a psycho bitch.

Switched my URL

So Julie & CJ just left.
While I was looking at CJ's blog, we tried to log in to her account because I thought I was signed off.
BAAAAAD idea.
IDIIIIOOOOT idea.


Yeah, they found my blog.

We went out to dinner and that was pretty cool.
I had good ice cream.

so that explains the switched URL.

Compared to Last Summer

This Summer has been much more eventful.
I even hung out with my madre yesterday.
Who I love. And we didn't fight at all :)


At about one in the morning, we went to get McDonalds.
IT WAS CLOSED!
SINCE WHEN IS MICKEY D'S CLOSED AT ONE IN THE MORNING????!!!!
So yeah, we ended up getting Taco Bell.

Yum Yum Yum.