So Remember the Time When

Taffy was a huge bitch and nothing is ever good enough for her?
No, he hasn't broken up with Cherie. He might as well have.

Seriously, I basically spent all of today and yesterday with him.

And then- I don't know when this happened- I COULDN'T.

I just couldn't spend any more time with him today. No, we haven't run out of things to talk about. No, nothing's become... awkward. It's just... I couldn't. And now I feel really bad about it. It's just, I spent SO MUCH FUCKING TIME WITH HIM.

I woke up yesterday and had breakfast. Then at around 11.30, Hunter texted me to hang out. I met up with him half an hour later. We walked into town and then we sat in a graveyard. (Which I've been doing a lot, lately. It's actually really relaxing.) The whole time, I was sitting in between his legs (because I was cold) and he had his arms around my front. We did that until 1.45 (which was only supposed to last until 1.20). I had a field hockey game and then I was supposed to meet up with him to watch our movie, but he was playing football. And before he was done I decided to go to Walmart with another friend.
So I texted him when I came back and we were going to watch then but I went to the common room to meet with him and he was laying on the couch. With Alexandra resting her head on his chest. Which didn't really bug me because she's like that... (who the fuck am I kidding, I wanted to KILL HER!). So basically I redecided that I wouldn't say yes if he asked me out. Fucking flirtmonster bastard asshole. I was pretty much fed up when he asked if he could enter her number into his phone, so I went back upstairs. He texted me like... 15 minutes later.
"Will you please come down? I really want to watch to movie with you."
FUCK TO THE NO! IT TOOK YOU FIFTEEN MINUTES TO FUCKING TEXT ME!
"Yeah, meet me in ten." (I know, I'm a wimp).

But we didn't watch the movie. Instead, we walked around. And crashed an old person performance being held in our campus theater. And then I ran away from him and he chased me. And we layed in the middle of the road waiting for cars to run us over. At one point, I was straddling him. We left unscathed :). He tried to get me to ditch this dance thing for him, but I didn't. So I didn't see him again until 11. And we sat and cuddled some more. (there is a lot of sitting involved in this relationship). Then he let me back into the dorm.

Oh, and the other frustrating thing is that his girlfriend texted him last night asking him to hang out and he turns to me and says "doesn't she get that I'm going to break up with her?" and in my head I was going, NO YOU DUMBASS! You haven't even spoken to her about it!

I wasn't really annoyed with him last night, but today...
JESUS CHRIST, HE'S TOO FUCKING CLINGY!

And I don't even know what changed (no worries for those of you "rooting for us". I've changed back.) I met up with him for brunch this morning, I even ended up feeding him part of my omelet. I think what started my weirdness is when people were calling themselves third wheels and he wasn't even denying it anymore. And after brunch we hung out in the field and it was one big cuddle fest. But I was actually getting kind of agitated. So I left to go do work in my room and was supposed to meet up with another friend to go to the culinary club meeting. And then he asked me when we were meeting up to go to the meeting. The following conversation made me kind of want to kill myself.
I deleted most of the texts, but the gist was:
+Hunter wanted to go with me
+I said go with another one of our friends because I was going with mine
+He said why don't we all go together
+I said that I was going with my friend and to just call mutual friend
+He said that wasn't working out for him
+I said to not go
+He called me a bitch
And my friend and I went to the club anyway. And so I was ranting about how he was just TOO FUCKING CLINGY and he actually appeared ON CUE outside the window looking sort of pissed off. I smiled to make things less awkward, and then I left.

I sent him a text apologising to for being a bitch.
He invited me to free swim.
I said hells to the fuck no (or that I had too much work to do, I can't quite remember).



Oh, and SBSG wanted me to sleep over last night.

Too Many Signs

So I'm probably hooking up with SBSG this Friday.
I promise this is not to:
+make Hunter jealous
+become more "advanced" (trust me, I'm fine with where I'm at)
+spark a relationship
And I've already considered that:
+guys talk
+I may become the slut to all the juniours
+he may try to get me to go farther than I want to go
But:
+I'm horny


That's basically it. And that should show you just how horny I am!
But um... Hunter knows.

Or not WHO SBSG is, but he asked me if I wanted to hang out Friday night.
I said no. I'm busy. And of course I told him that I was going to hook up with a guy because I'm ME for god's sake. That doesn't make it a reason for my hook-uppage with SBSG, but isn't it just so tempting to tell? And he obviously cared.
Seriously, he spent a lot of time trying to get me to tell him who SBSG was.

SO... now we're having this conversation.

Me: Done (with sports).
Hunter: I can't hang out now, sorry. (the fuck? did I SAY that I wanted to hang out?!)
Me: Dude, it's Monday. I can never hang out Monday. (total BS but I wanted the last word)
Hunter: Come to my dorm (NOW he wants to hang? Hells to the no.)
Me: When? (playing dumb)
Hunter: Now.
Me: It's Monday. I'll see you tonight. (we're eating breakfast)
Hunter: What? U just said u could. Come on.
Me: I just said I was done. Not that I wasn't busy.
Hunter: OMB (hehehe, another typo boy) u r such a tease
Me: A tease of what? Hanging out?
Hunter: U lead me to believe that u would hang out now
Me: How? I even specifically said that i can't hang out on Mondays.
Hunter: U said meet me at the bench. (yes, "the" bench. we have a bench). That is hang out talk.
Me: When did I say meet me at the bench?
Hunter: When we went to the X. U said meet me out there
Me: Yeah. To walk back.
Hunter: R u gonna hang out now or what
Me: What.
Hunter: God ur boring
Me: I'm aware. See ya tonight :)
Hunter: Good night. And what is happening with the junior?
Me: I already told you. What else do you want to know?
Me: And wtf, good night?
Hunter: I just said that to show that I don't care about u (THE FUCK KIND OF RESPONSE IS THIS?!). And I wanna know his name and how much farther u are with him
Me: That is such a pointless answer. What do you mean "how much farther"? In relation to what?
Hunter: Where u were when I got the cuff links
Me: In planning?
Hunter: No, in hooking up with the guy
Me: I'm still sick.
Hunter: Bs. Jump the guy.
Me: Hunter, don't be a tool.
Hunter: How am I being a tool? This is not at all what a tool is.
Me: You're being a tool. I'm going to go. See you tonight.
Hunter: Can't u just spare 30 minutes
Me: For what?
Hunter: Hanging out.


This time I got to be the one who doesn't reply.
In fact, this is the time I decided to take a shower, instead.
The thing is, even if he DID dump his girlfriend to be with me (btw, she is random girl from the other night), I would say no.
I'm not even kidding. I genuinely have logical reasons for this decision.

Fucking Devil Frosting

Uggg. So. Sophomore. Hunter.

Makes me kind of angry.

A week ago, I was feeling really down for some reason. Don't ask why, I don't have an explanation. He spent the whole week trying to cheer me up and making comments about frosting. So yeah, Hunter and I:
+walk to sports practice together
+hang out during free periods
+hang out during break (where he generally buys me food)

Seriously, I was approached by a whole bunch of people asking if we were going out. (Jesus, this sounds so pathetic)
And I was starting to like him.
A lot, actually.

So yesterday I ran into him while walking back from the Student Activities Center and he was holding frosting. And walking with some random girl (who I didn't think was that pretty so I didn't really acknowledge because she wasn't that pretty). We had a short frosting conversation in which he mentioned how he sometimes needs to go to Walmart to buy frosting for people who are acting depressed.

I assumed he meant me.

But now that I think about it, he was acting kind of awkward the whole time we saw each other.



No big deal.

Until I was walking into this dorm where all the freshman guys live and he was sitting on a bench outside. With his arm around random, unpretty girl.


Seriously, this was the only reason why I never met up with SBSG. But I'm in dire need of a hookup. And as soon as my friend's sister (who is the all-knowing, all-seeing sophomore girl) gets back with info that's he's only sort of sketch, and not REALLY sketch, I'm going for it.



Next weekend I think I'm fairly unbusy.
This week I have too much shit due.

BLOG READINGS, I PROMISE!
DON'T LOSE FAITH IN ME!

My Cheek is Itchy

Okay, so, I just got back from New York with Alexandra, Julia, and Monica. We stayed at Alexandra's apartment... which happens to be a four bedroom one... on Park Avenue.
Yeah, they're all pretty much richer than I am.

We went and ate the most delicious food... EVER.
Seriously, next time you're in New York.
Go to
Brio
Italian. For the pasta.
Shabu-Shabu
asian... for the mesclun salad. and the shabu shabu.
Pinkberry
mmm... original. basically frozen yogurt that's actually yogurt.
Sarahbeths
best. breakfast. ever.
- french toast
- pancakes
Buttercup
cupcakes.
lady baltimore=love.
basically Mongolia, but not as famous.
(just with the Upper East siders)

It was amazing.
I was left broke.

And we went to some party.
With and heir to Estee Lauder.

Oh yeah, and you know Matt?
The one with the fork?
He's really good friends with Conrad Hilton.
(THE Conrad Hilton).


Fuck my life.

Um, it was really good. This morning, we met up with a couple of guys from our school who were also in New York to eat breakfast. Which was... love? And shopping. At this place called Intermix. And I saw the most amazing Chloe bag in the world. Which I couldn't afford.


Seriously, I've turned into a whiny little bitch.
It's depressing.

I live a good life.
I don't need to bitch around like this.


It was sort of annoying because on the train ride back, Monica decided to take some really unflattering pictures of me asleep. They'll be up on Facebook some time soon... Julia and Monica also started doing this thing that these three guys in my grade like to do.
"Taffy, take pictcha!"
(asian accent)
I tell Monica it pisses me off.
She can be a little annoying, sometimes.

Drew:
Just a random juniour i run into at least 20 times a day.
He looks like Channing Tatum & Jonathan Rhys Meyer's love child.
Seriously, this man is beautiful.

Um... SBSG:
Random sightings.
Like... everywhere.
We see each other, we don't say hi.
Or we did once, it was really awkward.
And a second time today. While I was with Hunter.

Hunter:
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I don't even know.
Sort of reminds me of Gage.
A shitload.
Except sweeter.
But idk.
I tried to explain this earlier, and tried to sort of end our friendship?
Didn't work.

It was so awkward.
Friday night, we walked to this play thing together.
I had just taken a shower, so I was sniffing my hair.
"Smell it." (me)
"okay... it smells like you always do."
"oh."
"no, but it smells nice, like you generally smell nice."
"awww."
"don't read into that"


fucking fuckbastard assface.

I don't even know what's going on.

This was a little disorganised.
Sorry.

101 Dalmations

Boarding school is so difficult.
Seriously, if I were you I would skip this post.
Essentially, it's me basically complaining the whole time.


I don't have time to hang out with any of my friends (most of whom aren't in any honors classes). I'm the nerd of the group. I've never been the nerd of the group. I even stay in between the breaks during study hours because THERE IS SO MUCH SHIT TO DO. On Monday it was the worst. I literally wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Except then I wouldn't be able to finish my work.

It's so awkward, I've been seeing SBSG everywhere.
Especially after this conversation.
It starts with me seeing him on my way to acting class.

Me: Meeting earlier- way too awkward. I say we schedule another one and have sex or something. Deal? KIDDING.
SBSG: Haha wow your quite the assertive one. I liked this response
Me: You already knew that.
SBSG: U know where my dorm is. Just keep it on the dl. I did not like this response quite as much... Hopefully he was kidding?
Me: Ha, thats a no. Maybe on the third meeting or something. trying to keep the light vibe...
SBSG: I live in ck. I was coming out of there this morning. obviously not.
Me: I meant the sex part, silly. haha, hahaha?
SBSG: Your the one that mentioned it. WHAT IS HE, RETARDED?!
Me: I was kidding. By the way, this is turning into a really awkward conversation.
Me: Respondez-vous, si vout plais.
SBSG: Alright u can give me a call sometime DOUCHE.
Me: Gee, thanks for giving me that option! I'll take it to heart.


Miss you guys.
Hopefully comments this weekend!
If not, you can disown me forever.
I really miss reading y'all's stories!
uggg. i suck.

The Sad Thing About Travel

Is that you usually don't know anybody but your parents.
Seriously, unless you're on a cruise, there's really no way to really meet people.
I ended up becoming friends with the freaking doormen!
(who were hot)


New York is fantastic.
I finally have a hat with earflaps!

And I'm so sorry for not being able to keep up with your stories as of late, I had no way of accessing the internet for the past three days. Apparently I won't have a lot of time to blog in the near future, either, so I'll try to read all of your posts, but if you could leave summaries, that would be great!

Hm... The school is gorgeous. Lush green courtyards, shady trees, it's like a freaking movie, for Gage's (heheh) sake. And my roommate... was in the National Spelling Bee.

So far, I've moved in some of my things, and stole the big closet from her side of the room... Whoops.

Today we went to Walmart to get sheets and stuff... NOT COOL.
Seriously, this town is like... hickville?
(or at least some of the people are. Especially Pat, our checkout lady. Other people are kinda cool. and nice)

Oh, and SBSG has shown interest.
But he seems like the kind of guy who would look at me oddly if I approached him in front of his friends. And would ignore me or give a blase "hey".

Still, I'll humour you with this recent conversation.

SBSG: So how do you like [dorm name]
Me: Maybe you should come visit some time and find out for yourself.
SBSG: Haha, okay, will do. (typos, but they irk me too much to type out)
later on
Me: Your hair looks better short.
SBSG: U look hotter with those glasses on.
Me: aww, shucks.
SBSG: Don't take that the wrong way. U look fine both ways. Me, my hair was only short freshman year.
Me: And when I saw you. And thanks. And youre hot either way (as well), but the short hair's just a preference.
SBSG: Well its short just for you. DOUCHE!
Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that (only half sarcasm)

Oh, and I accidentally put the name Taffy
(which is actually a nickname)
As what I want to be called.
All the time.


(shoots self)

Sorry to Let Y'all Down

I think I'm friends with Gage again.
He's sick... I sort of ended up baking him cookies and dropping them off at his house.
I also dropped off cookies at Natalie's.
Sadly, I didn't really take the time to make them from scratch so they're sort of Pillsbury (which are still good).

Right now Gage & Barbie are arguing on the phone. She woke up and decided that she was over him :). Then she decided that she hated him... Good times.

By the way, Natalie, lunch with Kenzie, Barbie, Ginnie M., and Kate tomorrow.

Oh, and I thought I was going to get blue streaks in my hair. So I messaged SBSG asking if it was allowed. This time I don't think there were any spelling errors!

Me: Would I be able to gave blue hair? I actually fucked up there!
SBSG: What he actually seems sort of pissed off
Me: Have**
SBSG: Y would u do that I still hate his non-use of punctuation
Me: Actually I might just get streaks. Because I want to...
SBSG: No. That's really gay Is he saying that he won't let me have them?
Me: Is it allowed?
SBSG: Probably not
SBSG: And you would probably get lots of shit from kids for having blue hair
Me: Thanks for the tips. And i'm not dying it all the way blue.
SBSG: Don't do it at all Dude, WHY DO YOU CARE?
Me: Gage thinks you're right. We had a whole conversation about it.
SBSG: Gage?
Me: Yup.
SBSG: Who is that Getting a little possessive, eh?
Me: He's... A friend.
SBSG: ...A friend? Alright Sketch
Me: What do you mean? We've already established that I have friends.
SBSG: K well u seemed to be implying that he was a little more than a friend with the ... I HOPE YOU'RE JEALOUS, YOU SON OF A BITCH! Okay, I have no idea where that anger came from...
Me: Haha, oh well. What's up?
SBSG: Not too much. What's up with you
Me: On my way to drop off cookies at Natalie's house, lol. No reply.

SBSG wants to SBS ME!

haha, actually the title made no sense at all.
but yeah, SBSG wants to hang out.

I'm not going to do a whole word for word convo reenactment like I usually do when I talk to him, but this is pretty accurate.

SBSG: Hey girl, you wana (UG! STOP WITH THE SINGULAR Ns, SBSG!)
Me: Maybe I will after you write my name in a text.
SBSG: ? (okay, I can SORT of understand why he's confused)
Me: How about a "Hey Taffy, what's up?" Or whatever the hell
SBSG: Hello Tafy. (how the fuck do you spell that wrong? I sent him the fucking spelling in a previous text!)
Me: Spelled it wrong, SBSG.
SBSG: Taffy
Me: So what do you want to do?
SBSG: I have the whole house to myself all weekend and a shitload of weed. (strike ONE)
SBSG: Wait, you don't have your license, do you?
Me: Nope. And I don't smoke weed so you're gonna have to hide that.
SBSG: Ok.
Me: Haha, either way, I'm busy all weekend. (clever dodge) Free any other time?
SBSG: Maybe. What the hell you doing all weekend (no punctuation... disbelief...)
Me: I have other friends.
SBSG: Haha that's good to know
Me: I'm sure it is.




So, fellow readers, should I take the plunge?
-hang out with SBSG and potentially get raped/ become a pothead/ develop a slutty reputation
-not hang out with SBSG and miss out on a possibly good relationship (or one with bragging rights)/ develop a cowardly reputation/ become known as a tightass


decisions are hard, huh?

Major Confusion to the SBSG Level

SBSG has reestablished contact.
Which is kind of annoying considering he deletes my wall posts on Facebook.

Humm... I am the booty call in the closet.

More like booty text?

Anyway, I got this text from him today (not really exciting)

"Hey are you in town"
(at three in the morning)

Ugh, my reply is idiocy on the fifth level.

"Indeed I am"
but that's how I talk.
my problem is that I replied.

IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Me:
hey
neutral?
SBSG:
what up
YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING GANGSTER, SBSG!
Me:
i'm really really incredibly bored
you?
okay, it looks like I pretty much forgave him.
SBSG:
i wish i was. i have fucking hours of work
Me:
ew.
haha, sucks
so question:
okay... yeah...
SBSG:
yup
Me:
on a scale of one to ten:
how much do you hate me/ think i'm a major freak
SBSG:
11
OH SHIT, I WON'T BE POPULAR AT ALL!

im just kidding. why are you asking me this?
Me:
eleven being bad or good
asking because of recent conversations via text
truthful...
SBSG:
haha
Me:
i really hope you were kidding
because i want to keep on thinking that you're normal
okay, yeah, I'm totally asking to get raped.
SBSG:
dont worry im not a completly serious guy
I really hope so, SBSG, I really hope so.
Me:
fantastic :D , i hate you a little less now
completely serious.
SBSG:
and trust me im not that sketch
OR ARE YOU?
Me:
good.
so lets have a normal conversation.
go
SBSG:
um you can start this one
Me:
fuck, i have nothing to say
SBSG:
nor I
Me:
lol, so whatcha working on?
SBSG:
i have to work. il talk to you later
history paper
OMGAH! is this him dismissing me?
Me:
kay bye



NO, I haven't fallen for him again, I'm just hanging on to the hope that he's a regular guy and I'm not going to lose my virginity (accidentally) while at boarding school.

Crapsicles!

Okay, another SBSG post...
Well, anyway, after the last conversation with him
I added
"Sorry, I'm kinda hungover right now and can't really think"
Ah, that may have negated my "that would be rape" statement.
FUCKKK
Oh, but this DEFINITELY made it back into a no:

SBSG: Listen I don't want anything o say to you or you say to me getting to anuyone else.
GOD DAMMIT, SBSG, IF YOU WEREN'T HOT YOU'D BE DEAD RIGHT NOW! So yeah, this really pissed me off. In case you were wondering, translation:
Listen, I don't want anything I say to you or you say to me getting to anyone else.
BAHAHAH! Too bad I haven't said anything worth blackmailing me with, SBSG!
Me: First of all, that was disgusting. No, i don't want to have sex with you. Up until that text i thought you were normal. Second of all, if you're trying to get into a girls pants, you don't say that. Seriously.
:) I told him!
he hasn't texted back yet...
I'm planning on sending him this diamond:
WHAT? NO REPLY?
BAHAHAHAH

Okay, yeah, sorry, I'm a freak. But he totally deserved that. And I have the sick feeling that I may be the only one who knows about this side of him.
On Sparkey (a dating thing on facebook), he was voted "most well mannered".
Hm....
Oh, but I can't send that last text, he's actually really popular. Popular guy with girl who turns popular guy down: BAD NEWS.

I Woke up Feeling Very Sexy

Penn Hug Count: 43

Yesterday there was this progressive dinner thing. It was actually pretty cool! We went to one person's house to eat appetizers, one person's house for dinner, then this clubhouse thing for dessert & a dance.
And the DJ was SMOKIN'. Basically, I stood up at the DJ stand and flirted the whole time.
And for about two seconds during every song, me and Henry grinded.
w00t. (jk).

AH, but then I came back and here's what happened.

SBSG: Hey you
I decided not to text him back for like... thirty minutes.
Me: Hello
SBSG: I gana be stright forward woth you. I'm gana fuck the shit out of you when I come home
translation: I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to have a lot of sex with you when I come back home.
JESUS, when is he gonna learn how to spell?
Me: Good for you. But that would be rape. Third tops, and i'm in a relationship right now.
okay, so that was a total lie (the bf thing).
SBSG: Nah fuck that
HOLY CRAP! NO ERRORS!
Me: Sorry hon, maybe next time.
SBSG: Nah I don't thinl so
THINL ISN'T EVEN A WORD.
Think, perhaps, THINK?
Me: Don't think so about what?
SBSG: Nah
#2
Me: Made no sense... Sorry, love.
SBSG: Nah so who's the boyfriend.
#3
Me: Jake Rowland
I do actually know someone named Jake. And I know someone with the last name Rowland. I do not know someone named Jake Rowland.
SBSG: Does he have a big black cock
CORRECT SPELLING!
Me: He's white. Medium sized.
no reply
Me: Night.
SBSG: Ye: fuxk you
Me: (in the morning) Aw, is someone a little angry?
SBSG: Nah
#4
Me: That's good. You realise that youve texted "nah" back like 20 times already. It's starting to get a little overused.
SBSG: Nah babe.
Me: I don't know how to reply to that.
SBSG: And why is that

I haven't said anything yet.
Any ideas?

Fuck the Ants.

WHAT'S THAT?

The drama is over, you say!

Three cheers, HIP HIP HURRAY!

Sorry, I didn't mean for that to rhyme....

And although there is still a bunch of mega confusion and such, the drama is OVER. Alice and I will go on to Monday with an even stronger, more honest friendship. (Hopefully).

Urgh, I'm too lazy to write about it. If like... four (that seems reasonable, eh?) people comment on this post asking about the drama, I'll take CRUCIAL time out of my day to describe it. Okay, actually I have no life so it won't really be any trouble...

Faye's house was fun yesterday, we played lots of Rock Band (addictive, but I SUCK ASS at the drums :]). Either way, it's nice to get away from everything. But then the most peculiar thing happened....

SBSG Established conversation!

SBSG: Hey you. How's life in (place where I live)?
hey you. Aww, okay, I still think this is incredibly cute. This is what he first said before he asked me out. Ugh, why does he have to be an ass?
Me: Boring. I'm playing rock band :). You?
SBSG: I'm about to go to sleep. I feel resally shitty
Ah, but he still doesn't know how to spell...
Me: Aw, what's wrong?
SBSG: I don't know I'm just exhausted
DID HE SPELL EXHAUSTED CORRECTLY? I BELIEVE HE DID!
Me: I hope you get better. For some reason you always when youre about to fall asleep...
SBSG: Always what?
Me: Text me.
SBSG: Haha oh I'm just very bored.
Me: So i'm either really boring or really entertaining :)
SBSG: No you entertain me.
Me: Glad to hear that.

the end.
GOD, NO FLIRTING, SBSG! YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, REMEMBER?

Ah, but when one guy shows interest, that's usually when all of the other ones come back...
Ugh, sadly, it works the other way too.

every now and then, things make sense.

I have a new obsession:
Quizno's $2 Sammies.
Lovely lovely bites of joy!

Okay, so today was an okay day.
Henry has a baseball tournament both Friday AND Saturday (two other dances).
But, I cheered up considerably after one conversation with Gage.
The gist?
He pushed me off that one time because he didn't want me to feel his boner.
I DIDN'T BRING THIS UP, HE DID!
(I'm terribly afraid of confrontation)
hmm...
part of me wants to believe this so I can have a super huge ego again
part of me simply doesn't believe it at all.

We'll see.

I have re-established friendly connections with SBSG.
Or at least acquantance-y connections (at least now he doesn't think I hate him)
I asked him something about parties.

Okay, and NEW GUY.
Seriously homophobic/antihomosexual guy, but a hot one.
Keagan.
Myspace- messaging convos.

• Medium, shiny, brown hair
• tall
• fit
• flirty
• cheats on every girlfriend he has

I wonder how this will turn out.

I thought I had more to say, but I don't really.

Also, I love my friends.

Oh, and you should read:

FireWife by: Tinling Choong.

Crushed

Ah, so in one of my previous posts I wrote about how this song "Crush" reminded me of taylor.
I just got crushed.

Okay, so I was on facebook (sorry, I probably can't add you. The goal of this blog is to stay semi- anonymous) and scheming. "How do I piss off SBSG?" AND IT HIT ME! Change my relationship to make so that I'm with someone HOTTER and OLDER/ MORE MATURE!.

So I asked Taylor.
This is his response:
"HahaHaHahaha. No freaking way."

Ah, I love it love it.
Thanks for making my day Taylor.

Wrong Answer, SBSG

Ugh.
I am majorly, majorly bummed. And a tad pissed.
Today, I came back from this restaurant place and got this text from SBSG:
SBSG: "So you excited to see ne trhis summer" YES! HE SPELLED SUMMER RIGHT.
translation: So, are you excited to see me this summer?
Me: "Maybe, not quite sure"
SBSG:"And why is that" the whole text was made up of real words!
five min later...
"Huh?"
Me: "You could have an extremely suckish personality on our first date and i would have to spent the rest of the summer avoiding you."
SBSG: "What"
Me: "Or i could think the date went extremely wel and you could think it went extremely badly. Im considering all aspects of this situation."
SBSG: "Alright well I have a girl friend. I wasn't planning on dating. I thought we could just have some fun" wrong answer, sbsg
five minutes later...
"But don't worry about that"
Me: "FUCK YOU, SBSG"





just kidding.
no, i opted for the wimp route
"Baha, mmkay".

SUCKS. And this is the same SBSG that asked me out like... a month ago.

To top that, Red has been ignoring me for the past week.

And my parents are out of town again for spring break (kind of a good thing).

But I'm sort of happy because Henry called me just to talk :).
I quit boys.

whatever lola wants...

lola gets.
or taffy gets :)
I GOT INTO BOARDING SCHOOL.
Even though my hips are all messed up and out of place, I managed to do a gran jete as soon as I heard.
Okay, well, I got into the one I actually wanted to go to.
The one that I wanted to get into to piss Harris off did not accept me, but I barely put any effort into that application sooooo...
:D
I'm so excited.
But slightly pissed. Natalie, if you're reading this, its because you and Alice called Gage behind my back and AFTER you managed to convince me to finally end the friendship, you caved and I had to talk to him. Also, I lied, I had been napping.
Idk, I feel like you should have let me handle this situation by myself. Sorry, I should have explained to you on the phone. All I said was that I didn't really want to talk to him, but I also got sort of pissed when you kept insisting that we talk.
so yeah, now I've forgiven him, but I think the friendship is now just a normal friendship. I can't tell if that makes he happy...
AUGH, IT WAS SO ANNOYING, THOUGH.
He kept trying to convince me that when we kissed I stuck in my tongue first, which is RIDICULOUS, because I know you're supposed to go into a kiss with your mouth closed.
Stupid Gage.

Oh, and I may have accidentally asked out Penn (accidentally, on purpose). I'm pretty sure he turned me down.
"Will you escort me to my sister's wedding?" (half kidding)
"... I don't know. I mean, YEAH! (overenthused with thumbs up)"
"Yeah, you'll forget."
"I probably will."

fin.

The good things are:

• I looked fantastic today. My hair was in place, et cetera. I even had energy despite the time change.
• Taylor initiated conversation and we spoke for like, three hours. Which made me extremely happy (he never starts the conversation).
• Sexy Boarding School Guy was talking to me as well....

Oh, God, SBSG. I feel like an idiot. As soon as I got back from physical therapy (awkward because I didn't have time to put on shorts and I was wearing a thong...), I texted him and was like:

I GOT IN! Come home so we can fuck.

.... Not the brightest thing I've ever done. At first I thought it would be funny and turn- on-ish, but now I don't know if he knows I'm kidding or not. He was like,"Congrats, We'll have plenty of time for that this sumer" (yes, he spelled summer wrong...). Perhaps he was kidding?
I don't know, I'm worried. Whatever, SBSG is smoking hot ;).

Sorry this post lacked so much structure, I'm in a state of bliss.

oh wow!

i'm actually getting comments.
this is fantastic :)
considering
i got a sixty six on a math quiz
(i doubt anyone in my family has ever scored below an eighty on ANYTHING)
and
i haven't spoken to either
red
taylor
or
SBSG
since... forever.
its official, i don't have guy troubles,
i'm simply insane.

yesterday, i went to the rodeo with my sister, frank (her fiancee), two of their friends, and jake (fiancee's sexy friend with an amazing accent).
I thought it was going to suck because they're all about twice my age. BUT, I was talking to Jake pretty much the whole time and he's a fantastic listener with a fantastic laugh. (No, I'm not considering anything). I managed to embarrass myself by spilling ketchup on my white coat... TWICE. Jake laughed and cracked a joke about me having the mind of a twenty five year old (thrilling) and the body of a nine year old (not so thrilling...). I also gained about five hundred pounds via deep fried banana blueberry twinky and deep fried oreo.
so worth it.
Anyways, I also ran into the main group of the cranberries there! It was incredibly scary and kind of depressing. Bee yelled my name and I turned around. I SWEAR, IT WAS AN AMBUSH!
Aubrey asked me which one Frank was so I yelled at Frank and he turned (lots of yelling...).
Then, Aubrey made sort of a face, but masked it quickly.

Okay, so Frank isn't the most attractive of all men ever... but he's not particularly ugly, so she had NO reason to make that face. The worst part was that I felt sort of embarrassed by him and ran off to go show the cranberries some amazing artwork done by a kindergartener. Which is sad because I'm pretty sure the kindergartener (or gardener... idk) was more talented then me. Then I said adieu and I ran back to the group I was with. Who were all twice my age and it was a Friday night, go figure.

Later on I realised how incredibly pissed at myself I was for my reaction to Aubrey's face. Ugh, I seriously need to stop caring what others think.

Towards the end, Gage texted me asking if I was going over to Henry's (business class boy) to watch Oklahoma (which I have a large part in, thank you very much) tomorrow. I was still majorly pissed at him so I said no.

My parents just got back from Chile today and I've already managed to disappoint them.
Fantastic, no?

ugh, Gage just sent me a picture of himself where he looks really hot.
i still hate him.

I'll explain the Airplane metaphor in my next post.

its bad to fall in love with gay men, it will only end in trouble

among other things,
i am mega excited that christian siriano won project runway. He's fantastic.
I'm in love with him.

UGH.
Major frustration/ confusion.
I managed to drop an f bomb on SAT while I was talking about a place that makes delicious chicken wings. Classy, eh?
Also, SBSG leaves town today.
I still have my eye infection.
AND
Red is considering going out with some other girl. Which I urged him to do (so as not to seem clingy) and repeated that I was jealous twice. He ignored it. Still, I think I handled the situation fairly well. And everythings going alright, except for when I IMed him yesterday and he ignored it.
Haven't spoken to Taylor since Wednesday...

What I'm extremely angry about is the stuff Gage gets away with. He managed to convince the cranberries that he and che planted a camera in the girls locker room. I'm still shocked that they were gullible enough to believe this...
Not actually what I'm mad about.
Here's what happened during English today:
Che kept coming back while me and Gage were "studying" for a vocabulary test.
"Che, go away." I would say.
"Che, leave," said Gage.
"Y'all can still do stuff, I won't watch." (che)
"Taffy, I really don't mind doing stuff in front of Che."
"Gage, I refuse to do anything in English class anymore because I'm afraid Che is watching."
He even came back while we were sitting down in P.E.!
WTF?
But that's not all. After Che finally left us alone for like... five minutes, this occurred:
"Our relationship is weird." (gage)
"How is it weird? Essentially, we're best friends who just happen to be benifitting from the friendship." (me)
"Essentially, indeed. It's still weird."

Stuff about how I don't benefit from this and how I just let him do stuff to me and I say I like his hugs.

"People do this all the time."
"Yeah, but those people are usually seventeen."
"Gage, we only think that at our school."
"But, I mean, why are we like this?"
"Because we're not romantically attracted to each other, just physically."
And he said this gem:
"Actually, I'm not that attracted to you. (THANKS GAGE). Phylise said earlier that she thinks I'm good looking and she thinks I should be with Kate (pretty, first class girl)."
"So she thinks I'm ugly."
... silence. "Well anyways, yeah, I just like the feel of you. But no offense or anything, but your face isn't that pretty. It's kind of..."
"Round, I know."
"Yeah, its still sort of chubby."

THANKS FOR BRINGING THIS UP GAGE!
Like seriously, I didn't even ask if I was pretty or anything, he just decided to add to my self esteem by telling me things (my vocabulary isn't developed enough to come up with a more descriptive words) that I really don't need to hear. I'm very attached to Gage. And even though I consider us best friends, I realise that I don't even talk to him. He just talks to me. I realised that I'm way to.... idk, to talk to him. The only things I do discuss with him are my boy problems, which also piss him off! UGH. It's times like these when I seriously consider dropping him. Cruel, I know, but I can't help it. He didn't even have to lie about anything, he could have just not brought stuff up.

I really hope my other guy troubles aren't actually a figment of my imagination and in reality, none of them would actually consider dating me.
I hate being ugly.

Reminders.

Hmm, I love Aidan Hawken.
I just started listening to his song Crush, and I get this sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. Not bad sick, necessarily, just confused.
Listen to it.

Reason why: It reminds me of Taylor so much. I have no idea how I even managed to start talking to him. He's amazing and... urgh, I have no clue. And the song also makes me really depressed, but I hear it and I'm happy. Happy/ Sad?

I was thinking about this and pressing shuffle on my iPod until I heard Last Train, by: Lostprophets.

Red.

I don't know why, but it's just so him. Now I listen to both of these songs before I fall asleep. Sad, right?

I also realised that I don't associate anything with sexy boarding school guy (from here on out known as SBSG), which makes me kind of sad. He's a lot more accessible than the other two, though.

Sort of down today, turns out Red isn't completely over his seventh grade girlfriend (he's a junior), who also happens to be his best friend.

Don't you just love how these things play out?
I tried to help him with it yesterday and I was good, I didn't ask anything about us. The good thing is that he isn't super possessive with her or anything, he's just amazed by her. This sucks, but I'm trying to help as much as I can.

Of course today, I also spoke a lot with Sporty, Asian Teacher (SAT). Goal from now till end of the year: start texting. No, I don't expect a romantic relationship, he's just REALLY fun to talk to :).

Hmm, it seems as though I've managed to make Gage jealous today. Which is weird because at the beginning of our relationship, it was the other way around. I'm so confused right now. I usually am.

Tomorrow I'm posting a list of fears.