Questionable

My mother:
"I don't know how healthy this is. I want to get her drunk under our surveillance so she see drinking is not good. So she see what happens."


Yeah, right, like I would EVER voluntarily get drunk in front of my parents.
This is why I need to stop asking for alcohol at family dinners.

OH, You Mean Taff? That BAMF!

So I figured I'd open this post with something amusing.

There's this girl who lives on the third floor (where I live), her name is Sophia. She tried to sell me her printer.
Sometimes, you'll go into the bathroom and all of the lights are on but it doesn't look like anyone's in there. (we're really environmentally conscious here, the last person in the bathroom turns out the light). You'll go into a stall to do your business (PEE, YOU DUMB SHIT!). You'll wash your hands. You'll turn out the lights and walk out. Then three seconds later, you'll hear a loud

"HEY, HEY!"


Oh, Sophia.

What do you do in there?

Last time I walked into the bathroom right after she left it, it smelled like meat.
Ground beef, to be exact.

So I'm going to New York with Julia this weekend.
My parents are very strongly against it.
Normally, I would say "but they can't do anything about it!"
But actually, they can.
Due to the code "2222" next to my name.
(which means I'm a prisoner at the school with my parents' permission)

I have found a way to overcome this!
I forwarded an "e-mail from my mom" to our dean's assistant telling her that I have permission to go to the city.
In actuality, it's a letter listing specific reasons why I'm not allowed to go.
I even let all grammar and articles go to the wind!

Oh, and I accidentally cut class yesterday to have lunch with Matt.
This is getting very bad.
(also, I might miss out on NY because I have Sunday Detention...)






Just to let you know, I was being completely sarcastic throughout this entire post. Never would I refer to myself as a BAMF, even when meant as a compliment, it's an insult.

Argumentation?

Yeah, I sort of told my mother that I hoped she would die in a car crash.

Progress is back in the negative numbers.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Tree- Pruning as Therapy

Today I basically chopped off a bunch of tree leaves.
I didn't know that doing so could be so... depressing.
Actually, it's a really thoughtful process.
I've grown a lot in the past 12 hours, I think.




My mother and I are forming a closer relationship.
It's been like a week since I've cursed at her (baby steps, baby steps).


Hopefully, this summer I can figure everything out.
Nat- I want to be a better friend.

Today I Became a Woman

Okay, not really.
But I did decide to exfoliate my armpits.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID idea.

They hurt like fuck right now. Wait, no, that's not right, fucking is probably a lot less painful than the burning sensation I'm feeling on my armpits.
I'm not even kidding.
But seriously, what kind of idiot decides to pumice their armpits?
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!

Do they sell Band- aids in Spain? Because I have a feeling that they're gonna start bleeding at any second.

On a lighter (actually darker and shittier) note, I found out that my dad cheated on my mom. Jesus Christ, I can't even look at him right now. I was out with my sister most of the day. I started thinking about this maybe a week ago (my sister was still in New York).

Basically, I have this vague memory of some woman who wasn't my mother closing the door of my parents' room in our old house in the suburbs. I have another memory of this same woman teaching me how to make a bracelet and me liking her, a lot. The last memory is what I think made my mother find out.

We were sitting in the car and this woman was in the front seat. My mother was fucking dropping her off at a hotel for God's sake! I don't know how the conversation came up, but my mother mentioned something about her staying in our guest room. To this I replied, "No, she stayed in you and daddy's room!".

Ugh.

I know that I have issues with my mom, but honestly, I think I love her most out of all the people in my family. And in case I haven't actually described my issues with my mother in this blog, Natalie knows that it goes much deeper than normal teenage angst. My father needs her so much more than she needs him! God, he's just so particular, but she doesn't think he can do any wrong. The problem is, neither does he. I bet you that he probably doesn't think that he did anything bad!

After I asked my sister about this at lunch today, she was talking about a conversation she had with my father. He was talking about what would happen if Frank ever strayed, and she said that he told her not to get too angry or leave him because IT IS JUST IN MEN'S NATURE! What the hell kind of asshole excuse is that? It's not like every living breathing male has the right or even the need to cheat.

God, I'm so glad I'm leaving tomorrow.
I guess I still have to pack, huh?

P.S. I swatted down a wasp's nest using AT&T Yellow Pages. I was scared shitless the whole time.