We Humped Like Gorillas

Gage & I are okay now.
Still awkwardly friendly, but I hate him less.

Just got back from Bee & Lucy's.
Turns out that we're okay now.
Hmm, this is good.
Julie, Penn, Henry, & Manny were there. As was my Angry Friend (shy, not v. talkative girl who gets mad easily, but is chill too). She's listener, like me.

Anyway, Henry was being flirty (hurrah!) but Penn was pretty cool too. Henry was better though. Manny was just sitting there shooting water at everyone.

This really fucky thing happened where Bee & Lucy's HUGE dog tried humping me (think like... 120 pounds). I started running, then I realised that my top had come untied. Everyone was on the trampoline watching me with my arms across me while being chased mercilessly by their dog. And I'm not the fastest person.

I couldn't stop to tie my top because then I would get humped. I couldn't keep running because my top would come off...

And Penn may have seen my nipples. I was trying to get a water balloon nozzle off the top of a hose and my top came untied. Ugg ugg ugg. They're really ugly, otherwise I would be excited by this. But I don't think he did because later, I was helping him tie a water balloon and he was able to look me straight in the eye while we were talking.

I have a love/ hate relationship with my bikini.




Turns out I don't get my phone back.

Suspense, eh?

Ah, so after I let my sister out of the closet...
She was like, "I'm really pissed off right now".
But now we're good :)



I am Penn's favourite girl in the grade :). Oh, and he likes it when I hug him from behind. Perhaps he's having gay fantasies about Joe? Maybe this conversation will help you decide:
Me: Yeah, but it's like all the guys in the grade have a gay crush on Joe.
Penn: But... he's just so... COOL!

Yeah, that kind of killed it for me.

My Family is in the Mafia!

Okay, yeah, supreme overexaggeration.
But yeah, they seem to bribe me a lot.

My parents threatened to take away Spain unless I apologised to my father.
Which, knowing my father, will only piss him off more because I "do not want to apologise".

My mother isn't letting me go to Natalie's after graduation unless I clear stuff up with my dad. MOM, DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR HUSBAND?

UGGG!
But in her eyes, dad can do no wrong.

Oh, and my sister went out and bought me a Burt Bees Radiance Kit. She even put it into a little purple bag and added tissue paper. I'm not quite sure what to do with it... I just want to be like, "Take your fucking kit! I want a sister who will actually side with me on stuff. Have you heard of any other fucking sister who GROUNDS their little sister? I HAVEN'T!" Eh. Yeah, she still has my cell phone.

Disclaimer: Sorry, Syd, I wasn't gonna write about this but the beginning of my post made me way depressed.
On a lighter note, I got mad at Penn for liking Cherie more than me (he does this to everyone ALL the freaking time). Yeah, but he flirts with her frequently. Taff and Cherie in the same proximity, guess who he's with? So later, on our way to lunch, he walked over to me and whispered this in my ear, "I definitely like you more than Cherie". Then he hugged me.

I floated down to lunch.


Hmm... this is really annoying. I live downtown so I'm near all the arts and stuff. It can be pretty convenient, but there's ONE thing. We're near ALL the arts. Even the ones that make noise. Like the outdoor theatre. So yeah, it's kinda difficult when I want to go to sleep early because I just hear random segments of words and everything else is just jumbled.

I'll be sleeping then:

WHOO HOO, WHOO HOO, WHOO HOO!
(instruments)

HaRoOoOOo!

Okay, yeah, sorry about the title. I've just always had the urge to tYpe LiKE tHis.

You know the dealio!



So lately Penn's actually been paying attention to me. (thank Gage!)

Oh, and I'm starting to hate Gage. This has nothing to do with the random flirtatiousness, I just... dislike his character.

It might have something to do with the fact that yesterday, he pulled out a shitload of my hair.

I pull his hair.

Gage: Pull me up!

Me: Okay

(I proceed to pull).

Gage: OW, STOP!

Me: Gage, you're so softheaded.

Gage: Let me pull your hair.

Me: Fine.

Gage takes my hair, puts it over his shoulder and BENDS FORWARD.

crack. crack. crackcrackcrack.

After like two minutes:

Me: OW, STOP!

Gage: Hehehehe.

Me: Jesus Christ, Gage, that fucking hurt!

Gage: You had it coming.





WTF? But yeah, this dislike started before the hair pullage...

Oh, and I'm also starting to like Bee & Lucy (Bee more).



I'm glad that the schoolyear is almost over. I hate all the work we have to do.... UGH, but we're leaving. And that sucks.



Syd & I are better.



Sorry for the short posts lately, I hope this one was long enough.
(not that anyone actually cares, but humour me?)

Sprinklers...

Okay, so our school recently installed sprinklers in a field my mother and I walk by in order to get to our cars. For some reason, (EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE FREAKING ON), I hadn't realised that there were sprinklers didn't until I was drenched.
Ughh...

Anyway, Gage has been extremely flirty.
With me.
AND
WITH BEE!
Indirectly, this means me=Bee.
NOT COOL!

During English, I accidentally hit Nat's 5-foot-1 ex in the arm. He was like, "that hurt, kiss it!" So, I did. Then he accidentally hit Gage in the eye and Gage goes,
"Taffy, kiss it."
"No, Gage."
"You kissed (5-foot-1-ex)."
"Okay."
So yeah. I have no will power.
Multiple hugs.

We also used to do this thing while walking to/from English where I'd stop and he'd walk right up behind me so his crotch it touching my ass.
It happened again today...
I sped up really quickly and kept walking.
And then on the way to a class meeting, he decided to ask, "Is it yellow today?"
UGH!
YOU PIG!

Yeah, that's my rant.
Plus, I've decided that Gage has no personality whatsoever and is a less cool version of Chuck. Except chunkier and less sexy.

And Penn is being flirtier again (thank Gage!). Today he kept sitting on my lap in P.E. then wrapping his arms around me.
HURRAH!

The end.

Oh yeah, I forgot,
Gage also mentioned something I said about him kissing like a fish...

I Woke up Feeling Very Sexy

Penn Hug Count: 43

Yesterday there was this progressive dinner thing. It was actually pretty cool! We went to one person's house to eat appetizers, one person's house for dinner, then this clubhouse thing for dessert & a dance.
And the DJ was SMOKIN'. Basically, I stood up at the DJ stand and flirted the whole time.
And for about two seconds during every song, me and Henry grinded.
w00t. (jk).

AH, but then I came back and here's what happened.

SBSG: Hey you
I decided not to text him back for like... thirty minutes.
Me: Hello
SBSG: I gana be stright forward woth you. I'm gana fuck the shit out of you when I come home
translation: I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to have a lot of sex with you when I come back home.
JESUS, when is he gonna learn how to spell?
Me: Good for you. But that would be rape. Third tops, and i'm in a relationship right now.
okay, so that was a total lie (the bf thing).
SBSG: Nah fuck that
HOLY CRAP! NO ERRORS!
Me: Sorry hon, maybe next time.
SBSG: Nah I don't thinl so
THINL ISN'T EVEN A WORD.
Think, perhaps, THINK?
Me: Don't think so about what?
SBSG: Nah
#2
Me: Made no sense... Sorry, love.
SBSG: Nah so who's the boyfriend.
#3
Me: Jake Rowland
I do actually know someone named Jake. And I know someone with the last name Rowland. I do not know someone named Jake Rowland.
SBSG: Does he have a big black cock
CORRECT SPELLING!
Me: He's white. Medium sized.
no reply
Me: Night.
SBSG: Ye: fuxk you
Me: (in the morning) Aw, is someone a little angry?
SBSG: Nah
#4
Me: That's good. You realise that youve texted "nah" back like 20 times already. It's starting to get a little overused.
SBSG: Nah babe.
Me: I don't know how to reply to that.
SBSG: And why is that

I haven't said anything yet.
Any ideas?

Hot for Teacher

DAMN IT! No real talking with SBT :/.

Right now I'm texting Aubrey. She just saw Pierce (weiiiiiird ex- boyfriend) at the movies. Apparently she doesn't dislike me. Good to know.
Bee and Lucy on the other hand...

GAGE IS GOING OUT WITH BARBIE! I always thought that his crush was on Kate! The theory is that they're only together so that they can get "experience". Hmmm...

Henry or Penn.
(not that I actually get a choice, but if I did...)
Nat, I know you think our boys are geeks,
but I like them better this way.

Penn has many good qualities. He's a tad (just a tad) more honest than Henry, though. Not in a good way. In a blunt "I'm an honest asshole!" way. And he cracks lots of jokes under his breath. We've been counting our pointless hugs this week and so far, we're up to 38. Today, I was sitting on his lap listening to his iPod. I then went to talk to Natalie and when I came back, I ended up sitting on the chair next to him. The conversation proceeding went like this:
Me: Hey, sorry for sitting on your lap earlier. Was I crushing you?
Penn: Sort of.
the end.
And the whole time during play practice, I realised that my crush may be going on him...
(two school crushes= BAD)

Henry is easier to talk to, methinks. The conversations just flow better. Idk, his hugs are not nearly as good as Penn's though. (it might have to do with the 10 inch... HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!) He can also be an asshole though. Ugh.
Two conversations today:
we were talking about calling people back
Me: ...so have you ever asked for a girl's phone number?
Him: Yeah. So normally I call once and then I don't talk to them again. So I delete their numbers.
Me: You better not delete my number.
Him: I will never delete your number.
AWWWWWWWWW!

texting:
Me: I'm hot for teacher.
Him: I've got it bad.
Me: Bad, so baaad. Haha, yeah, I'm cool.
Him: Your learning. Taylor's chode. Cough cough. G2g. Placement tests manana. Adios Conchita.
yeah, I forgot to tell you. Henry knows about the penis pictures... Conchita is this character in this Spanish soap opera we watch in class. Now that I think about it, it's kind of an insult. JESUS, WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
Me: Adios, Rafael.
Character weirder than Conchita. But they're in this little love thing sooooo...
Him: Haha, Yo me gustan las chicas simpaticas que quieren la musica. Adios.
Translation: I like funny girls who love music.
STUPID FLIRT! I wonder if he's figured out that "gustan" in Spanish has more of a romantic conotation...
Crush is officially on Henry.

That's the end of my rant. I hope something happens by the end of the year... BUT, I doubt it.

I cain't say no.

We just started rehearsing for our school's production of Oklahoma! and I'm cast as Aunt Eller.
Oh, and our musical is in three weeks.

Why, you may ask?
Why, because we have a retard music teacher (pseudonym: mrs. caterpillar, cat for short because... idk its and inside joke between me and Henry)
OH, but Henry is a mega flirt.
And Penn is once again huggy- and talky now that Gage is gone sick.
(Gage who I still haven't spoken to).

Friend drama is OOOOOVERRR! Thank God, I'm still worried about Alice because I hurt her so badly... Ugh, yes, Taff is a retard as well!

Went to some stupid dinner function thing for my parents tonight :/. I do love wearing dresses though!

Hmm... not much else to say.

whatever lola wants...

lola gets.
or taffy gets :)
I GOT INTO BOARDING SCHOOL.
Even though my hips are all messed up and out of place, I managed to do a gran jete as soon as I heard.
Okay, well, I got into the one I actually wanted to go to.
The one that I wanted to get into to piss Harris off did not accept me, but I barely put any effort into that application sooooo...
:D
I'm so excited.
But slightly pissed. Natalie, if you're reading this, its because you and Alice called Gage behind my back and AFTER you managed to convince me to finally end the friendship, you caved and I had to talk to him. Also, I lied, I had been napping.
Idk, I feel like you should have let me handle this situation by myself. Sorry, I should have explained to you on the phone. All I said was that I didn't really want to talk to him, but I also got sort of pissed when you kept insisting that we talk.
so yeah, now I've forgiven him, but I think the friendship is now just a normal friendship. I can't tell if that makes he happy...
AUGH, IT WAS SO ANNOYING, THOUGH.
He kept trying to convince me that when we kissed I stuck in my tongue first, which is RIDICULOUS, because I know you're supposed to go into a kiss with your mouth closed.
Stupid Gage.

Oh, and I may have accidentally asked out Penn (accidentally, on purpose). I'm pretty sure he turned me down.
"Will you escort me to my sister's wedding?" (half kidding)
"... I don't know. I mean, YEAH! (overenthused with thumbs up)"
"Yeah, you'll forget."
"I probably will."

fin.

The good things are:

• I looked fantastic today. My hair was in place, et cetera. I even had energy despite the time change.
• Taylor initiated conversation and we spoke for like, three hours. Which made me extremely happy (he never starts the conversation).
• Sexy Boarding School Guy was talking to me as well....

Oh, God, SBSG. I feel like an idiot. As soon as I got back from physical therapy (awkward because I didn't have time to put on shorts and I was wearing a thong...), I texted him and was like:

I GOT IN! Come home so we can fuck.

.... Not the brightest thing I've ever done. At first I thought it would be funny and turn- on-ish, but now I don't know if he knows I'm kidding or not. He was like,"Congrats, We'll have plenty of time for that this sumer" (yes, he spelled summer wrong...). Perhaps he was kidding?
I don't know, I'm worried. Whatever, SBSG is smoking hot ;).

Sorry this post lacked so much structure, I'm in a state of bliss.

padded bottoms.

hmm, I've read over all of my posts and I cringe everytime I see a curse word. I've also realised that they lose their potency if overused. So now I'm cleaning things up. Lets see how long this lasts...

I'm fairly certain Red will need to leave his little cul de sac to come to the big city I live in this summer, which I'm incredibly excited about, although worried. Hmm, maybe I'll bring my little army of Eighth graders to meet him.

In case you haven't guessed, I'm a tad boy crazy (a tad being a lot) so this blog will be full of... boys.

And other stuff, but mainly the topic mentioned above. Natalie said that she believes I'll probably be having sex by the end of this summer; lets try to prove her wrong, eh?

Okay, so, today was incredibly awkward. I feel a lot better because Alice managed to get her anger out via her sister's angry phone call yesterday. Thank God, right now I'm trying not to mess up as much and figuring out how to be a better friend.

My Obsessions as of Now:

• The Science of Sleep: an incredible movie. confusing, disorganised, but amazingly beautiful.
• My Morning Jacket: picked up a CD from 2005 by them, have been listening to the songs for the past five days
• The tray thing, still: I have to make sure all of the trays in the cafeteria are stacked correctly before I leave
• Yellow: for some reason, I'm loving anything in this color
• Taiwan v. China: hmm, pro Taiwan as a seprate country as of... fourth grade?

That's it.

So today, was... awkward. I got my period on Saturday (no, not my first time) so, for some reason, I wore a pad today to school. (sorry I'm making y'all read this). BAD IDEA. Had I been thinking this morning, I would have made another decision. Gage is sort of an... ass man. And before/during English class is the worst for it. We'll be walking in this semi- deserted hallway, and he'll grab for my ass (not a curse word, it means donkey). Normally, I'm okay with it, but today was really awkward. I would run forward right before his hand made contact and he'd make a funny face. Sorry Gage, but I'd feel extremely uncomfortable explaining the extra padding on my rear end. During English, however, he would keep going up to the front of the room to put his arms around Bee, and she'd sort of let him.

Normally, this wouldn't bug me, but Bee is part of the little group we like to call the Cranberries. This pissed me off. So now they'll think they've won and Bee will think that she's better than Alice (I know it), which she totally isn't, because Alice is gorgeous. And later on, Gage made a quiet joke about Bee being flat, which totally confused me. It's like, if you don't actually think she's pretty, then why are you feeding to their ammunition in the "war" (dramatic, I know)? Urgh, sometimes this really bugs me. Honestly, flirt with someone outside of that group. Also, all of the other guys Gage hang out with say they hate the cranberries. Seriously, why do you approach them all.the.time?

OH, and I'm also pretty sure Penn is confused/ mad at me because he found out what happened between Gage and me on Friday. Today was just sort of awkward because I'd try to talk to him and he'd sort of... ignore me? I've gotten into the habit of petting his hair, which is weird, but it's just so incredibly soft. Normally, he lets me and when I approach him in the hallway, he sort of tilts his head forward so I can mess with his hair. Today I went over and he was like, "Get off."

This caught me completely off guard. Penn's not a very angry person. I looked back at him to see if he was kidding but he sort of averted his gaze.

Augh, this is so frustrating. Penn's just so incredibly sweet and boyishly cute, and yes, I'm pretty sure I have a small crush on him. And he's really easy to talk to. Part of the reason I like Red is because he reminds me of Penn, just older.

In sixth grade, I had the hugest crush on Penn. I would talk to him in hallways, sort of... follow him around (this is sad, but now I think it's funny) and call his house phone almost three times a day. Obviously, now his mother is not so fond of me...

When asked if I "liked" him I would reply, "NO! Not at all, why would you think that?" When it was so incredibly obvious. I would listen to the music he liked to listen to (which I still listen to because I like it) and practice flirting tactics with him. My own mother (who I rarely talk to about my issues) managed to find out about my crush on him. Natalie also became really annoyed with the fact that I liked him so much, not so much that but by my denial of it.

"Penn's not really that cute," She would say, "I don't know why all these people have crushes on him this year..."

I would stare at her horror-struck and pretend to agree. That or defend him, "I don't know, don't you think his hair is super soft? And isn't he an amazing guitar player? I SPOKE ON THE PHONE WITH HIM FOR FIVE MINUTES YESTERDAY, and he was just so sweet. I think I can figure out why Lisbet likes him."

She would look at me, shake her head, and walk off.

I'm different now.