I'm fairly certain Red will need to leave his little cul de sac to come to the big city I live in this summer, which I'm incredibly excited about, although worried. Hmm, maybe I'll bring my little army of Eighth graders to meet him.
In case you haven't guessed, I'm a tad boy crazy (a tad being a lot) so this blog will be full of... boys.
And other stuff, but mainly the topic mentioned above. Natalie said that she believes I'll probably be having sex by the end of this summer; lets try to prove her wrong, eh?
Okay, so, today was incredibly awkward. I feel a lot better because Alice managed to get her anger out via her sister's angry phone call yesterday. Thank God, right now I'm trying not to mess up as much and figuring out how to be a better friend.
My Obsessions as of Now:
- The Science of Sleep: an incredible movie. confusing, disorganised, but amazingly beautiful.
- My Morning Jacket: picked up a CD from 2005 by them, have been listening to the songs for the past five days
- The tray thing, still: I have to make sure all of the trays in the cafeteria are stacked correctly before I leave
- Yellow: for some reason, I'm loving anything in this color
- Taiwan v. China: hmm, pro Taiwan as a seprate country as of... fourth grade?
That's it.
So today, was... awkward. I got my period on Saturday (no, not my first time) so, for some reason, I wore a pad today to school. (sorry I'm making y'all read this). BAD IDEA. Had I been thinking this morning, I would have made another decision. Gage is sort of an... ass man. And before/during English class is the worst for it. We'll be walking in this semi- deserted hallway, and he'll grab for my ass (not a curse word, it means donkey). Normally, I'm okay with it, but today was really awkward. I would run forward right before his hand made contact and he'd make a funny face. Sorry Gage, but I'd feel extremely uncomfortable explaining the extra padding on my rear end. During English, however, he would keep going up to the front of the room to put his arms around Bee, and she'd sort of let him.
Normally, this wouldn't bug me, but Bee is part of the little group we like to call the Cranberries. This pissed me off. So now they'll think they've won and Bee will think that she's better than Alice (I know it), which she totally isn't, because Alice is gorgeous. And later on, Gage made a quiet joke about Bee being flat, which totally confused me. It's like, if you don't actually think she's pretty, then why are you feeding to their ammunition in the "war" (dramatic, I know)? Urgh, sometimes this really bugs me. Honestly, flirt with someone outside of that group. Also, all of the other guys Gage hang out with say they hate the cranberries. Seriously, why do you approach them all.the.time?
OH, and I'm also pretty sure Penn is confused/ mad at me because he found out what happened between Gage and me on Friday. Today was just sort of awkward because I'd try to talk to him and he'd sort of... ignore me? I've gotten into the habit of petting his hair, which is weird, but it's just so incredibly soft. Normally, he lets me and when I approach him in the hallway, he sort of tilts his head forward so I can mess with his hair. Today I went over and he was like, "Get off."
This caught me completely off guard. Penn's not a very angry person. I looked back at him to see if he was kidding but he sort of averted his gaze.
Augh, this is so frustrating. Penn's just so incredibly sweet and boyishly cute, and yes, I'm pretty sure I have a small crush on him. And he's really easy to talk to. Part of the reason I like Red is because he reminds me of Penn, just older.
In sixth grade, I had the hugest crush on Penn. I would talk to him in hallways, sort of... follow him around (this is sad, but now I think it's funny) and call his house phone almost three times a day. Obviously, now his mother is not so fond of me...
When asked if I "liked" him I would reply, "NO! Not at all, why would you think that?" When it was so incredibly obvious. I would listen to the music he liked to listen to (which I still listen to because I like it) and practice flirting tactics with him. My own mother (who I rarely talk to about my issues) managed to find out about my crush on him. Natalie also became really annoyed with the fact that I liked him so much, not so much that but by my denial of it.
"Penn's not really that cute," She would say, "I don't know why all these people have crushes on him this year..."
I would stare at her horror-struck and pretend to agree. That or defend him, "I don't know, don't you think his hair is super soft? And isn't he an amazing guitar player? I SPOKE ON THE PHONE WITH HIM FOR FIVE MINUTES YESTERDAY, and he was just so sweet. I think I can figure out why Lisbet likes him."
She would look at me, shake her head, and walk off.
I'm different now.
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