It's My Birthday!

-Breakfast with the sis, her husband, Jake
-Lunch with SBT
-Dinner with the fam.


It's a celebration of food!

I'm Thankful For

HOUSTON.


IS AMAZING.


I had almost forgotten all of the inside jokes I have with people here, and how many of them are just... generally awesome. Seriously, forget Dallas, H-town is the shit. (forizzle my nizzle... not really, because that has derogatory undertones)

Give Thanks, Bitches

It was my mom's birthday yesterday.
Like, I know the date, November 24th
And I knew what day it was...
But I didn't really make the connection.


So we had a bunch of pissed off calls yesterday over the unaccompanied minor fee (there is one!) and she was convinced there wasn't. Plus, I don't have a card, so I wouldn't have been able to pay for it, anyway.
Lame.

But yeah, she went
"By the way, you forgot to wish me a happy birthday."
And I, being the quick thinker I am (even though, now, I feel awful about it) went:
"No, today's the 23rd!"


But yeah, apparently today on the shuttle from the school to the airport, it was really awkward for everyone to listen to me talk to my mom on the phone.

I seriously need to work on that.

Um, there's more to write about, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to write about it. And when I am, I might not want to anymore.



Movies with Henry Friday night.

I'm so stressed out about Houston, it's unbelievable.
I have so many errands to complete!



Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, lovers.

This is Peculiar

So remember fork guy?
HOT fork guy?

We go out for lunch on Fridays.

But maybe this is the last Friday since my schedule is fucked up next term...


Still, it's weird.
It's like he hates me (or we hate each other)
and then, every Friday, we go to a local cafe and get a pizza.
He pays.

No, I don't think he likes me.
(trust me, he only dates girls UNDER 100 lbs)

"You're paying next time."
So there's going to be a next time?

Cruising

I'm the proud owner of a new Sector 9 Padang Longboard.

It's excellent.

So far, I've made a huge hole in my favourite pair of jeans, I have an unbelievable amount of bruises on my legs, and I've done the splits about five times. Involuntarily. All worth it.

Life is good, Hunter is awkward.
Whatever, I'm past this.

Sorry, my life is boring.
I'm going home in 6 days!

Oh.

Basically, here is what happened since I posted last:
(you might want to read that, first)
I talked to Hunter.

Me: "Hey... I think we should break up."
Hunter: "What?"
Me: "I don't really think it's working out. I don't think that I can BE in a relationship."
Hunter: "Oh. Why?" fucking awkward.
Me: "I don't think there's any chemistry between us. Don't get me wrong. I love you, so much, but as a person. That's why I stayed in this relationship for so long, er... um... what was long for me. Because I care about you so much and I wanted this to work out so badly."
Hunter: "I understand."
blahblahblah
yaddayaddayadda
(saving you from more awkward conversation... which I don't exactly remember)
Hunter: "Wait... Does this have anything to do with... you know, that thing we discussed the other day? the feeling up"
Me: "No, not at all."
Hunter: "Because I don't even know what that was."
Me: "It's alright. It happens. I promise, this has nothing to do with it. I just... don't think this was really working. And I hate this, because I really want to stay friends, but I don't feel like we CAN stay friends after this and... I don't know."
blahyaddablah
Hunter: "So I think our main problem was the age difference. Because I'm a sophomore and you're a freshman, we never got to see each other." NO!
Me: "Yeah..." what do I say? "No, I just don't like you in that way"? I'm not that much of a bitch.
Hunter: "So, do you want to hang out for a bit?"
Me: "Sure."
We walked to the student activities center and watched TV for a bit. Then I walked with him to our school box office so he could get a ticket for the play tonight. We half hugged, and I walked off. I thought that he had taken this extremely well, and (I know this is selfish) I was actually kind of pissed off that he didn't care that much. I promptly went to the internet cafe next to the grill and logged on to Facebook to cancel our relationship. I'm obsessive like that. Relatively good ending.

Right?
Wrong.

So I'm hanging out with the group of friends who DIDN'T go to New York this weekend (don't even get me started on this) when I get this text from Monica.
"HUNTER IS CRYING"
I immediately responded with something along the lines of "how do you know?"
"Hey, it's (insert other friend's name), but ya he's so upset. hahahahahahahahah hehehehehehehe so happy week. I kinda feel bad but whatevs"
I feel sick to my stomach.

I got the full details after eating a stomachfull of carrot spice cake. Bundt cake, to be exact.

Basically, during the show he had his hands over his eyes and was wiping with his shirt. The full nine yards. During intermission, my friends talked to one of his friends and she asked them why he was so upset. "He won't talk to anyone. He's been like this all afternoon. What happened?"

Oh.


Part of me wants to slap him for being so affected by this, part of me wants to take it all back so he doesn't have to suffer, part of me is relieved that I'm no longer with a guy who would cry after... this, part of me feels like a complete and total bitch.

I'm going to New Haven tomorrow.
Hopefully that will take my mind off of things.

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning

One month.
I counted.

I checked from my last blog post...
You know, the one where I told Hunter to kiss me?


I wish I hadn't ever done it.
There is no PHYSICAL chemistry between us.
I love him.
Like LEGITIMATELY love him.
As a person.


And now I don't know how to start this break up.
It needs to happen.

A. I can't be in a relationship.
B. I especially can't be in a relationship if it's just based on how much I care for the other person's personality. That is a close friendship.
C. I get jealous too easily, even if I don't care.
D. I don't want something after I have it.

Or I do. I really do.

I want to feel something for him so badly, it's unbelievable.
And now I don't know what to say to him.
And I want to stay friends with him, but Hunter is the kind of person where that doesn't really happen... I don't think.

He wants to meet up in like... fifteen minutes.
I haven't seen him all week.


We had a semi-fight on Wednesday about me telling people about his inability to massage breasts (ha!), but I handled that really well. And he always tells me that he loves me. And that I'm amazing. And I can't handle it. It isn't me being afraid of commitment, but this just doesn't feel right.

I'm sorry that this post is so incredibly disorganised.

One Big Disappointment

Hunter tried to feel me up tonight.





Not as in he tried and I shut him down,

but as in he tried and he failed.

















MISERABLY.

Is the Boyf Cheating?

Hm...

Hunter.

I think he likes me more than I like him. And I was thinking about this the other day, like... there are so many guys here who I find more appealing than him. And I feel like such a bitch for thinking so, because he's sweet, and he's become a better kisser. I even flirt with others

But:
Hunter is a flirt.
Hunter is also kind of awkward.


I'm not that physically attracted to Hunter.
And what if what happened with ME happens with some other girl?

Which is why it didn't come as a huge shock to me when my friend, Dominique (y'all need another name) and I were starting to practice acting and she told me that she needed to talk to me.

Dom: "Earlier, I was walking back from the dining hall with Jake (her boyfriend) and Jake told me to look over at something. There was this girl and guy and the girl was like... groping the guy. Guess who it was?"
Me: "Hunter? Or Mike, Erica's boyfriend (Erica is my prefect, who has a boyfriend named Mike who looks exactly like Hunter... but hotter... and less awkward... let's not discuss Mike, other than to say that him and Erica are adorable)."
Dom: "Nope, Hunter."

And do you know what my response was?

"Thank god."


Isn't that awful?

But yes, Dom told me how Jake didn't know who it was. And Jake, being the funny little kid he is, called out "hey!". Hunter saw Dom and she ran away. He caught up to her and asked what was up.
"Nothing. What were you up to?"
"Studying."

And apparently, he said it with no guilt. As in, he actually didn't notice the girl was flirting with him (which is actually very probable), or he just sees nothing wrong with it. Or he is a bad liar.


Advice?
And Dominique is a reliable source. She's not from the catty group of girls that I hang out with.

FUCK FUCK MOTHERFUCK.

I dropped my phone in the toilet.