a cheerful rant

FUCK.
Okay, I wrote this then everything got deleted...
Ew.
Anyways, I'm going to try to start over.
My friends are amazing, (the first thing I realised). I can't believe that you've forgiven me (again and again and again) for major fuck ups and idk. I'm sorry I didn't end up leaving the fish in your locker but me and natalie decided that doing so might end badly... I had more to say on this, (not the fish part) but since it all got erased, I can't remember.
Guadalajara was really fun and me & natalie & barbie will rock this shit. Spain will be like... idk. My main goal is the non- rape thing. I really don't have anything else to say on this subject except for how excited I am. (Spain). At Guadalajara, I pretty much just pigged out... and I also figured out, I don't fucking care if you call me a food-taking slut. I like to eat. And just because my idea of flirting with a guy isn't freaking out about the bones in his arm (NO JOKE), doesn't mean that you can call me that. I mean, seriously? I haven't been sucking people off or anything and y'all are always like... "oh, making out is so gross" and believe me, high school is going to SUCK for you. Also, I don't know how the hell you can say the previous with a straight face. Y'all are the ones making up rumors about shit that nobody has even done, I mean, some of the stuff that comes out of your mouths, seriously? (this is a rant, don't judge me) And the only reason I'm writing this is because I know none of y'all have myspaces. Thank God. Baha, I just read over and found like... twenty "y'all"s.
This week has been... oh God. Okay, so I started out thinking it would be extraordinary, then stuff went wrong (solely my fault, if you blame yourself, you're wrong), then today was pretty much... wonderful. But I'm so past this. This is the end of my decade or whatever at small private school and I'm going to live this however I want to. I really don't care what people say anymore because if this ends in social ruin (which it most likely will), I only have to endure it for like... two months. Not that bad.
Okay, so I realised, I'm super confused. And I need to make up for my fuck ups but oh well. I talked to most of you about this last week. I need to be able to make these freaking decisions even though I already know the answers. But oh, guess what? NOW THERE'S A THIRD. Okay, so nobody will probably get what I'm talking about but messaging would be nice :). Still, two probably aren't an option and one was probably not serious. Still can't figure it out? I realise I'm being semi- cryptic, but I don't know what to say. I'm supposed to be writing an Ethics essay, dammit.
This has been a disgustingly crappy blog, but I feel so much better now. LONG LIVE THE BEE-AYETCHES! And fuck you, Cranberries.
(yes, there's nicknames)