every now and then, things make sense.

I have a new obsession:
Quizno's $2 Sammies.
Lovely lovely bites of joy!

Okay, so today was an okay day.
Henry has a baseball tournament both Friday AND Saturday (two other dances).
But, I cheered up considerably after one conversation with Gage.
The gist?
He pushed me off that one time because he didn't want me to feel his boner.
I DIDN'T BRING THIS UP, HE DID!
(I'm terribly afraid of confrontation)
hmm...
part of me wants to believe this so I can have a super huge ego again
part of me simply doesn't believe it at all.

We'll see.

I have re-established friendly connections with SBSG.
Or at least acquantance-y connections (at least now he doesn't think I hate him)
I asked him something about parties.

Okay, and NEW GUY.
Seriously homophobic/antihomosexual guy, but a hot one.
Keagan.
Myspace- messaging convos.

• Medium, shiny, brown hair
• tall
• fit
• flirty
• cheats on every girlfriend he has

I wonder how this will turn out.

I thought I had more to say, but I don't really.

Also, I love my friends.

Oh, and you should read:

FireWife by: Tinling Choong.

I like to move it move it.

or i thought so.
turns out I don't...

fucking bastard-ass homo dances :/.
(i love the homosexuals so i suppose the homo thing makes it good... WHICH IT WASN'T)

i really don't feel like reliving the whole dance.
I think i'll just do really depressing bullet points to make you realise that I'm the loser of the grade and my blog is no longer worthy of being read.

• Like five guys pulled away when I tried to grind. (Penn, Chuck, someone else, etc)
• Grinding with Wes only lasted when the cabana wasn't full. Then he decided to mysteriously "get a drink of water"
• Gage was grinding with me then he shoved me off. (because he's embarrassed of me)
• Henry didn't show because he had a stupid baseball game.
• First Class got all the guys in a fucking big circle around them.

And it was crappier than that.

The good homo part: I got a really cute print dress for nine bucks.

Urgh, I also realised how much I like Henry.

Crushed

Ah, so in one of my previous posts I wrote about how this song "Crush" reminded me of taylor.
I just got crushed.

Okay, so I was on facebook (sorry, I probably can't add you. The goal of this blog is to stay semi- anonymous) and scheming. "How do I piss off SBSG?" AND IT HIT ME! Change my relationship to make so that I'm with someone HOTTER and OLDER/ MORE MATURE!.

So I asked Taylor.
This is his response:
"HahaHaHahaha. No freaking way."

Ah, I love it love it.
Thanks for making my day Taylor.

Wrong Answer, SBSG

Ugh.
I am majorly, majorly bummed. And a tad pissed.
Today, I came back from this restaurant place and got this text from SBSG:
SBSG: "So you excited to see ne trhis summer" YES! HE SPELLED SUMMER RIGHT.
translation: So, are you excited to see me this summer?
Me: "Maybe, not quite sure"
SBSG:"And why is that" the whole text was made up of real words!
five min later...
"Huh?"
Me: "You could have an extremely suckish personality on our first date and i would have to spent the rest of the summer avoiding you."
SBSG: "What"
Me: "Or i could think the date went extremely wel and you could think it went extremely badly. Im considering all aspects of this situation."
SBSG: "Alright well I have a girl friend. I wasn't planning on dating. I thought we could just have some fun" wrong answer, sbsg
five minutes later...
"But don't worry about that"
Me: "FUCK YOU, SBSG"





just kidding.
no, i opted for the wimp route
"Baha, mmkay".

SUCKS. And this is the same SBSG that asked me out like... a month ago.

To top that, Red has been ignoring me for the past week.

And my parents are out of town again for spring break (kind of a good thing).

But I'm sort of happy because Henry called me just to talk :).
I quit boys.

Even Though He Freaks Me Out...

I talked to Will the whole time during P.E. Today.
He's fascinating and understanding. He thinks like me, but he seems genuinely interested in what I have to say. His vocabulary is outstanding. No, I'm not crushing, but I'm considering a potential best friend.
He also told me that I act older than I am which I took as a great compliment.
Yes, Will freaks me out to the hundredth degree, but not quite as much. I think its the adoring gaze he gives everyone that triggers my fear of boys who like specific girls too much. Still, he's mysterious and kind of frightening. I learned today that he used to be quite violent and was asked to "tone it down" at his old school.
Hmmm....
I'm also afraid he'll consider romantic possibilities (incredibly vain, I know. I just can't help it).
We'll See.

OH, MY SISTER AND HER FIANCEE BOUGHT A HOUSE!
I can't wait to stay there when necessary.
And I got about an hour and a half of sleep last night.
And drank four cups of black coffee.
I was jittering for the rest of the day.
SBT got my essay in an email at 5.18 A.M. so he shook his head at me at break today.

Wes, first class boy, slight acne, you know- I might have a crush on him. We hug like... thirteen times a day. But sometimes I'm also afraid he's embarrased of our hugdom. He still lets me hug him in front of Chuck so I might be paranoid.
ALSO, Chuck would totally ditch me for Lucy at any moment.
FUCKAROO!!!!
oh well....

Henry is incredible to talk to. Except he doesn't give very good hugs... And he flirts with other girls :/

I hate school guy crushes.

And I haven't been very truthful about how far I've gone with Gage. On Wednesday, we kissed again, but instead, I bit him (purposefully). Ah, it was quite entertaining. As well as this, Gage has also touched the skin in my lower... feminine parts. Not that low, but where the hair should be. (sorry i'm making you read this). During English, he also frequenly reaches up my skirt so he can pull the elastic on my thong back and snap it. AND, for the past week or two, he's been trying to finger-ish me through my skirt. Make sense? I'm not going to explain...
It's all out there now.
So yeah, NATALIE AND SYDNEY, DO NOT TELL ANYONE.

whatever lola wants...

lola gets.
or taffy gets :)
I GOT INTO BOARDING SCHOOL.
Even though my hips are all messed up and out of place, I managed to do a gran jete as soon as I heard.
Okay, well, I got into the one I actually wanted to go to.
The one that I wanted to get into to piss Harris off did not accept me, but I barely put any effort into that application sooooo...
:D
I'm so excited.
But slightly pissed. Natalie, if you're reading this, its because you and Alice called Gage behind my back and AFTER you managed to convince me to finally end the friendship, you caved and I had to talk to him. Also, I lied, I had been napping.
Idk, I feel like you should have let me handle this situation by myself. Sorry, I should have explained to you on the phone. All I said was that I didn't really want to talk to him, but I also got sort of pissed when you kept insisting that we talk.
so yeah, now I've forgiven him, but I think the friendship is now just a normal friendship. I can't tell if that makes he happy...
AUGH, IT WAS SO ANNOYING, THOUGH.
He kept trying to convince me that when we kissed I stuck in my tongue first, which is RIDICULOUS, because I know you're supposed to go into a kiss with your mouth closed.
Stupid Gage.

Oh, and I may have accidentally asked out Penn (accidentally, on purpose). I'm pretty sure he turned me down.
"Will you escort me to my sister's wedding?" (half kidding)
"... I don't know. I mean, YEAH! (overenthused with thumbs up)"
"Yeah, you'll forget."
"I probably will."

fin.

The good things are:

• I looked fantastic today. My hair was in place, et cetera. I even had energy despite the time change.
• Taylor initiated conversation and we spoke for like, three hours. Which made me extremely happy (he never starts the conversation).
• Sexy Boarding School Guy was talking to me as well....

Oh, God, SBSG. I feel like an idiot. As soon as I got back from physical therapy (awkward because I didn't have time to put on shorts and I was wearing a thong...), I texted him and was like:

I GOT IN! Come home so we can fuck.

.... Not the brightest thing I've ever done. At first I thought it would be funny and turn- on-ish, but now I don't know if he knows I'm kidding or not. He was like,"Congrats, We'll have plenty of time for that this sumer" (yes, he spelled summer wrong...). Perhaps he was kidding?
I don't know, I'm worried. Whatever, SBSG is smoking hot ;).

Sorry this post lacked so much structure, I'm in a state of bliss.

WHY DOES IT HONK WHEN I BLOW MY NOSE?

Urgh, for some reason, the space bar on my laptop is acting up so I have to push it down very forcefully to create these lovely spaces that seperate words for your reading pleasure :)
JK, i like writing :)

SO, airplane metaphor, eh
now you get to read my creepy observations on people's looks...:
1st Class(popular/ jocks):

• Barbie- your typical dumb blonde. She's fantastic, however. She's really nice and honest. Guys tend to have crushes on her or Kate. Really good body (tiny waist, huge breast-ises, et cetera).
• Kate- According to Gage, doesn't have the best face... (i disagree). Really touchy feely but no one suspects her of being a lesbian. Doesn't really talk, but when she does, the has things to say. Apparently, her house is her sisters' friends' drinking house. Great legs. Dirty blonde hair.
• Sharon- Champion swimmer at this country club everyone goes to. Really nice. Tan, brown hair, brown eyes, but also really pretty.
• Kenzie- Blonde. Used to be favourite in boy- crushes, but according to Gage, "she got acne so her face is gross, still she has a really hot body". Extremely bubbly personality, lively and nice to everyone.
• Sydney- little short blonde girl. Feisty. Curly hair, and incredibly cute and nice. Has some issues, but not psychotic ones. One of my best friends.
• Ginnie- The grade bitch, essentially. Kind of squat... She's nicer this year, though. Brown hair, brown eyes. Really rich and likes to flaunt it. Parents own a fantastic restaurant.
• Chuck- sort of short, but really good body. Big on sports. Soccer star. Extremely flirty, Kate's had a crush on him for forever but it seems that Barbie is his girl of choice (making out choice). Gorgeous eyes, likes to sit in the back of Spanish class and "accidentally" grab my boobs. He's hot so he gets away with it.
• Wesley- So incredibly sweet. Blonde hair, blue eyes, boyish face. Slight... acne. Really good at track although he doesn't really enjoy running. Next to my locker, I give him a daily hug :)
• George J.- Not actually part of this group. Cracks jokes with terrible delivery. Thinks he's popular. Is really nice and puppy- doggish but waaaaay annoying.
• Natalie's Five- foot- one ex- OBSESSED with Chuck. They tend to touch each other in class and say they're kidding. The rest of the grade is not so convinced. Looks like Natalie Portman with his hair slicked back.
• Chase- Short and pervy. Another chuck worshipper. Pre- puberic yet, somehow, the object of many's affections.

Business Class (your girls):

• Taffy- Yours truly. Short, asian, sluttish acting and relatively friendly. Talks trash and doesn't do anything about it.
• Sam- Okay, so the guys don't like her so much. She's the member of our group who is really easy to make fun of. Picky about food, obsessive about pickles... et cetera. Black and a dancer... with a slight pot belly.
• Alice- lovely girl. Deep down, maaajor self esteem issues. The girl that is nice to everyone but confrontational about things she cares about. We never quite know whats going through alice's mind. Hispanic w/ good body and secondmost flirty.
• Natalie- Fantastic baker. Loves drama. A young Martha Stewart who I can talk to about anything. Really really good body (like Barbie's, but she doesn't show it off)
• Gage- Blonde hair, blue eyes. Your all american boy. I call him my best friend, but a recent assessment of our relationship has lead me to believe otherwise. I might be his best friend though... Really cocky. Used to have self esteem issues, but now I'm not so sure.
• Henry- Me in a guy version. Except attractive and more rock-ish. Dark hair, easy to talk to. School crush. Almost six foot one. Really sporty and kind of skinny but in a hot way. Slight dandruff... I would still bang him :)
• Joe- RIPPED. Although I'm pretty sure he's only five one. Intense blue eyes, really good at math. Kind of twitchy, but not in an annoying way. Partially first class and me & nat are pretty sure all the guys have man crushes on him.
• Manny- The current person on the receiving end of Alice's affections. I've backed off. Hot bod. I'm pretty sure part of his brain was lost in hitting puberty so quickly... Sweet and flirty.
• Penn- My favourite of all of our business class boys. Really sweet, kind of reminds me of Dopey, but in an adorable way. Plays guitar along with Henry and Gage. Used to have a HUGE crush on him. Really smart and kind of spaztic about grades. Soft, brown hair. Brown eyes? Pale, but also, ripped.
• Calvin- Natalie's soul mate. And this isn't solely for her, I truly believe that they will end up together. Brown hair, soulful brown eyes. One of my best friends and reads me spiderman comics when I'm down.
• There are others, but I'm probably not going to talk about them. Further classifications will be given in other posts.

Economy Class (the geeks):

• Sharon R.- Really nice. Short and has over fifty allergies. Slight hypocrite.
• CJ- Indian. Sporty. Nice to talk to and, for some reason, Gage hates her.
• Mary- Annoying, gossip queen. For some reason, we find Sam ditching us for her.
• Three Z's- Triplets. Andy- GORGEOUS, Eli- Looks A TAD bit like Dan Radcliffe, Dave- Curly Brown hair, really musical, but high pitched voice...
• Harris- INCREDIBLY ANNOYING. Thinks he's smarter than me, but incapable of making A's without studying. I can.
• Che- Hangs around our Business Class boys but they all hate him. Slightly (EXTREMELY) pervy and stalkerish. The type of guy who thinks everybody is racist towards him and doesn't accept the fact that he's just hated for his personality.

AND OF COURSE

The Stewards (previous business class):

• Cherie- Gage's ex. Bitchy. Tiny boobs but wears bras that are too big for her and push her "boobs" up to her collarbone. With padding to the max.
• Bee- Lucy's twin. Looks like a teddy bear, but not even half as friendly. Really fake and confrontational. Can't keep normal hair for two weeks without high-lighting it first.
• Lucy- Bee's really pretty twin. Nice, but hates me as well. Same as Bee with the hair.
• Aubrey- Bee's best friend. Used to stick up for her- ish but now I'm not so sure. Brown hair, brown eyes. Slight acne. Pretty nice to me but IDK.
• Nat. A- not to be mistaken for natalie. long and skinny, incredibly soccer player, but she has a heart problem... walking buddy in P.E.
• Julie- My FAVOURITE FAVOURITE FAVOURITE steward. And she's only one because she hangs out with them. We have lots of conversations and stuff. She has honey brown hair and is convinced I'm a vampire. She is also in a cold war with Gage.

Sorry, the descriptions kind of died in the end. I got tired so I suppose I should get a nap and FINALLY start my homework.

Maybe I'll write about my relationship with my madre next.

oh wow!

i'm actually getting comments.
this is fantastic :)
considering
i got a sixty six on a math quiz
(i doubt anyone in my family has ever scored below an eighty on ANYTHING)
and
i haven't spoken to either
red
taylor
or
SBSG
since... forever.
its official, i don't have guy troubles,
i'm simply insane.

yesterday, i went to the rodeo with my sister, frank (her fiancee), two of their friends, and jake (fiancee's sexy friend with an amazing accent).
I thought it was going to suck because they're all about twice my age. BUT, I was talking to Jake pretty much the whole time and he's a fantastic listener with a fantastic laugh. (No, I'm not considering anything). I managed to embarrass myself by spilling ketchup on my white coat... TWICE. Jake laughed and cracked a joke about me having the mind of a twenty five year old (thrilling) and the body of a nine year old (not so thrilling...). I also gained about five hundred pounds via deep fried banana blueberry twinky and deep fried oreo.
so worth it.
Anyways, I also ran into the main group of the cranberries there! It was incredibly scary and kind of depressing. Bee yelled my name and I turned around. I SWEAR, IT WAS AN AMBUSH!
Aubrey asked me which one Frank was so I yelled at Frank and he turned (lots of yelling...).
Then, Aubrey made sort of a face, but masked it quickly.

Okay, so Frank isn't the most attractive of all men ever... but he's not particularly ugly, so she had NO reason to make that face. The worst part was that I felt sort of embarrassed by him and ran off to go show the cranberries some amazing artwork done by a kindergartener. Which is sad because I'm pretty sure the kindergartener (or gardener... idk) was more talented then me. Then I said adieu and I ran back to the group I was with. Who were all twice my age and it was a Friday night, go figure.

Later on I realised how incredibly pissed at myself I was for my reaction to Aubrey's face. Ugh, I seriously need to stop caring what others think.

Towards the end, Gage texted me asking if I was going over to Henry's (business class boy) to watch Oklahoma (which I have a large part in, thank you very much) tomorrow. I was still majorly pissed at him so I said no.

My parents just got back from Chile today and I've already managed to disappoint them.
Fantastic, no?

ugh, Gage just sent me a picture of himself where he looks really hot.
i still hate him.

I'll explain the Airplane metaphor in my next post.

its bad to fall in love with gay men, it will only end in trouble

among other things,
i am mega excited that christian siriano won project runway. He's fantastic.
I'm in love with him.

UGH.
Major frustration/ confusion.
I managed to drop an f bomb on SAT while I was talking about a place that makes delicious chicken wings. Classy, eh?
Also, SBSG leaves town today.
I still have my eye infection.
AND
Red is considering going out with some other girl. Which I urged him to do (so as not to seem clingy) and repeated that I was jealous twice. He ignored it. Still, I think I handled the situation fairly well. And everythings going alright, except for when I IMed him yesterday and he ignored it.
Haven't spoken to Taylor since Wednesday...

What I'm extremely angry about is the stuff Gage gets away with. He managed to convince the cranberries that he and che planted a camera in the girls locker room. I'm still shocked that they were gullible enough to believe this...
Not actually what I'm mad about.
Here's what happened during English today:
Che kept coming back while me and Gage were "studying" for a vocabulary test.
"Che, go away." I would say.
"Che, leave," said Gage.
"Y'all can still do stuff, I won't watch." (che)
"Taffy, I really don't mind doing stuff in front of Che."
"Gage, I refuse to do anything in English class anymore because I'm afraid Che is watching."
He even came back while we were sitting down in P.E.!
WTF?
But that's not all. After Che finally left us alone for like... five minutes, this occurred:
"Our relationship is weird." (gage)
"How is it weird? Essentially, we're best friends who just happen to be benifitting from the friendship." (me)
"Essentially, indeed. It's still weird."

Stuff about how I don't benefit from this and how I just let him do stuff to me and I say I like his hugs.

"People do this all the time."
"Yeah, but those people are usually seventeen."
"Gage, we only think that at our school."
"But, I mean, why are we like this?"
"Because we're not romantically attracted to each other, just physically."
And he said this gem:
"Actually, I'm not that attracted to you. (THANKS GAGE). Phylise said earlier that she thinks I'm good looking and she thinks I should be with Kate (pretty, first class girl)."
"So she thinks I'm ugly."
... silence. "Well anyways, yeah, I just like the feel of you. But no offense or anything, but your face isn't that pretty. It's kind of..."
"Round, I know."
"Yeah, its still sort of chubby."

THANKS FOR BRINGING THIS UP GAGE!
Like seriously, I didn't even ask if I was pretty or anything, he just decided to add to my self esteem by telling me things (my vocabulary isn't developed enough to come up with a more descriptive words) that I really don't need to hear. I'm very attached to Gage. And even though I consider us best friends, I realise that I don't even talk to him. He just talks to me. I realised that I'm way to.... idk, to talk to him. The only things I do discuss with him are my boy problems, which also piss him off! UGH. It's times like these when I seriously consider dropping him. Cruel, I know, but I can't help it. He didn't even have to lie about anything, he could have just not brought stuff up.

I really hope my other guy troubles aren't actually a figment of my imagination and in reality, none of them would actually consider dating me.
I hate being ugly.

red eye.

i have an eye infection.
its disgusting.
this sucks.

Fears:

• clingy ex boyfriends
• before 2 weeks ago, matches
• clowns
• rejection
• rape

Reminders.

Hmm, I love Aidan Hawken.
I just started listening to his song Crush, and I get this sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. Not bad sick, necessarily, just confused.
Listen to it.

Reason why: It reminds me of Taylor so much. I have no idea how I even managed to start talking to him. He's amazing and... urgh, I have no clue. And the song also makes me really depressed, but I hear it and I'm happy. Happy/ Sad?

I was thinking about this and pressing shuffle on my iPod until I heard Last Train, by: Lostprophets.

Red.

I don't know why, but it's just so him. Now I listen to both of these songs before I fall asleep. Sad, right?

I also realised that I don't associate anything with sexy boarding school guy (from here on out known as SBSG), which makes me kind of sad. He's a lot more accessible than the other two, though.

Sort of down today, turns out Red isn't completely over his seventh grade girlfriend (he's a junior), who also happens to be his best friend.

Don't you just love how these things play out?
I tried to help him with it yesterday and I was good, I didn't ask anything about us. The good thing is that he isn't super possessive with her or anything, he's just amazed by her. This sucks, but I'm trying to help as much as I can.

Of course today, I also spoke a lot with Sporty, Asian Teacher (SAT). Goal from now till end of the year: start texting. No, I don't expect a romantic relationship, he's just REALLY fun to talk to :).

Hmm, it seems as though I've managed to make Gage jealous today. Which is weird because at the beginning of our relationship, it was the other way around. I'm so confused right now. I usually am.

Tomorrow I'm posting a list of fears.

padded bottoms.

hmm, I've read over all of my posts and I cringe everytime I see a curse word. I've also realised that they lose their potency if overused. So now I'm cleaning things up. Lets see how long this lasts...

I'm fairly certain Red will need to leave his little cul de sac to come to the big city I live in this summer, which I'm incredibly excited about, although worried. Hmm, maybe I'll bring my little army of Eighth graders to meet him.

In case you haven't guessed, I'm a tad boy crazy (a tad being a lot) so this blog will be full of... boys.

And other stuff, but mainly the topic mentioned above. Natalie said that she believes I'll probably be having sex by the end of this summer; lets try to prove her wrong, eh?

Okay, so, today was incredibly awkward. I feel a lot better because Alice managed to get her anger out via her sister's angry phone call yesterday. Thank God, right now I'm trying not to mess up as much and figuring out how to be a better friend.

My Obsessions as of Now:

• The Science of Sleep: an incredible movie. confusing, disorganised, but amazingly beautiful.
• My Morning Jacket: picked up a CD from 2005 by them, have been listening to the songs for the past five days
• The tray thing, still: I have to make sure all of the trays in the cafeteria are stacked correctly before I leave
• Yellow: for some reason, I'm loving anything in this color
• Taiwan v. China: hmm, pro Taiwan as a seprate country as of... fourth grade?

That's it.

So today, was... awkward. I got my period on Saturday (no, not my first time) so, for some reason, I wore a pad today to school. (sorry I'm making y'all read this). BAD IDEA. Had I been thinking this morning, I would have made another decision. Gage is sort of an... ass man. And before/during English class is the worst for it. We'll be walking in this semi- deserted hallway, and he'll grab for my ass (not a curse word, it means donkey). Normally, I'm okay with it, but today was really awkward. I would run forward right before his hand made contact and he'd make a funny face. Sorry Gage, but I'd feel extremely uncomfortable explaining the extra padding on my rear end. During English, however, he would keep going up to the front of the room to put his arms around Bee, and she'd sort of let him.

Normally, this wouldn't bug me, but Bee is part of the little group we like to call the Cranberries. This pissed me off. So now they'll think they've won and Bee will think that she's better than Alice (I know it), which she totally isn't, because Alice is gorgeous. And later on, Gage made a quiet joke about Bee being flat, which totally confused me. It's like, if you don't actually think she's pretty, then why are you feeding to their ammunition in the "war" (dramatic, I know)? Urgh, sometimes this really bugs me. Honestly, flirt with someone outside of that group. Also, all of the other guys Gage hang out with say they hate the cranberries. Seriously, why do you approach them all.the.time?

OH, and I'm also pretty sure Penn is confused/ mad at me because he found out what happened between Gage and me on Friday. Today was just sort of awkward because I'd try to talk to him and he'd sort of... ignore me? I've gotten into the habit of petting his hair, which is weird, but it's just so incredibly soft. Normally, he lets me and when I approach him in the hallway, he sort of tilts his head forward so I can mess with his hair. Today I went over and he was like, "Get off."

This caught me completely off guard. Penn's not a very angry person. I looked back at him to see if he was kidding but he sort of averted his gaze.

Augh, this is so frustrating. Penn's just so incredibly sweet and boyishly cute, and yes, I'm pretty sure I have a small crush on him. And he's really easy to talk to. Part of the reason I like Red is because he reminds me of Penn, just older.

In sixth grade, I had the hugest crush on Penn. I would talk to him in hallways, sort of... follow him around (this is sad, but now I think it's funny) and call his house phone almost three times a day. Obviously, now his mother is not so fond of me...

When asked if I "liked" him I would reply, "NO! Not at all, why would you think that?" When it was so incredibly obvious. I would listen to the music he liked to listen to (which I still listen to because I like it) and practice flirting tactics with him. My own mother (who I rarely talk to about my issues) managed to find out about my crush on him. Natalie also became really annoyed with the fact that I liked him so much, not so much that but by my denial of it.

"Penn's not really that cute," She would say, "I don't know why all these people have crushes on him this year..."

I would stare at her horror-struck and pretend to agree. That or defend him, "I don't know, don't you think his hair is super soft? And isn't he an amazing guitar player? I SPOKE ON THE PHONE WITH HIM FOR FIVE MINUTES YESTERDAY, and he was just so sweet. I think I can figure out why Lisbet likes him."

She would look at me, shake her head, and walk off.

I'm different now.

how it all began.

so, I think by now you have all figured out I'm a total poser,
correct?

anyways, i'm just going to tell you how i started cursing.
(this is very brief and not at all specific)

started in fourth grade because i thought it was cool

continued through:

• fifth
• sixth
• beginning of seventh.

by the end of seventh grade, I realised that it cussing just made you look like a poser

then I realised that it was also a habit.

Update on Today

I got my report card today and this made me burst out laughing:
Taffy is an outstanding student. Her grades this term have been flawless. I really enjoyed her research paper and look forward to the next ones. Her ablility shines through in all of her work. I really enjoy having her in my class! Bravo!

No need to get sarcastic, sexy bald teacher. I'm glad he liked the research paper, I got forty five minutes of sleep that night. I also realised tha t full throttle does not sit well on an empty stomach. This is what is so fantastic about SBT, he lets me cross the line in class.

Oh, one fucky thing.
Turns out I flirt with sporty, short, Asian teacher of the sixth graders.
Or at least they all think so.
Personally, I think he's sexy, but I try to refrain from doing... ^^
Then again, it seems as if I flirt with everybody.

Oh, I got an angry call from Alice's sister earlier.
But, although she hates me, :
she has a respect 4 u now.
she said u were mature and handled yourself well and
she's glad that you recognized and didnt cuss her out n stuff. u took responsibility :) hehe.

How Alice forgave me, I will never
EVER
know.

more about me and guidelines to ruining a weekend

I tend to fuck up often.
I rarely think
I rarely sleep.
and I am the worst possible friend one could have.
If you've been reading Natalie's blog, you know about Gage & Alice going out.
They broke up.
Which wouldn't be so bad, but me and Natalie set them up.
My "i fucked up" post was dedicated to Alice.


Shitty thing happened though, me and Gage frenched on Friday.
Today I realised that Alice still REALLY really likes him.
And I don't even.
I need to start thinking.
I had stuff to say, but I think I'm going to start posting interesting stuff later on.
Oh, so here are the guys I'm forced (not really, I create my own drama) to choose between.

• Taylor- I've sent naked pictures to him. Yes, this is stupid, but remember, I don't think. And i've seen parts of him that... I probably should have waited to see when I'm older. However, he lives a couple thousand miles away, and oh, did I mention that he's a high school senior? We text for at least an hour each day, which is bad because I haven't actually spoken to him since this summer.
• Red- We met over the internet. That is the first time and only time I'm doing that. He is incredibly amazing to talk to and we've already established our liking of each other. He could just be playing me though. I've never met him (number one bad thing). I have spoken to him via webcam and the phone so, I don't quite know what else to say.
• Sexy Boarding School Guy- I'm trying to get into a boarding school. I know him through Natalie because their parents are friends. We text but not a lot. I've told him that I think he's hot and he asked me out. Sort of. Except I think he gets annoyed with me so we'll see.

You may have noticed that Gage is not on the list, this is because our relationship is purely physical and he's actually my best friend.

Hopefully my posts will be better from now on.

fitz.

was fucking amazing.
First club concert I went to, and aughhhh.
Most definitely going back with sexy boarding school guy if he doesn't figure out that I'm super ugly first. Or that I'm really annoying.
I saw:
Thee Armada
The Finalist
Dremnt The End
American Masquerade
Great American Actors
And they were amazing
Sadly, I was too broke to buy merch.
I swallowed a bunch of shit including:
hair,
sweat (lead singer's :], but still gross)
Other stuff but I forgot because my sister was too busy looking at honeymoon destinations to let me use the computer. I'm now obsessed with blogging.
So for the first four acts, I would stay at the top and watch. It's a better view and the moshing is entertaining. There was one couple who would stop and make out whenever the mosh pit died down for a couple of minutes.
Then, for Thee Armada I went down and got pretty far in the crowd. At first people were kind of annoyed but then I apoligised and I ended up getting a bunch of, "Oh my God, she's so cute!"s. Ah, they joys of being munchkin sized. The guy in the makeout couple ended up fixing my hair and going, "Hon, you're going to want to move that so it doesn't get in my face." This one girl next to me helped fix my bra strap like five times. But on the floor, it was insane, you couldn't stand still because the floor moved and the crowd was swaying back and fourth with their whole bodies. I fell over with a huge group of people and felt bad because I was on the top. Seriously, a really bad place for claustrophobic people. But now my arm is really sore because I kept it up for like the whole show. Hum... no one wants to read about this, why am I still typing?
Ugh, one shitty part. Okay, so some person named Cam kept putting his arms around me. And, normally, I would love that but he had gross socks on. So I'd elbow his arms off and try to go closer then he'd get right behind me again. So I was thinking about it and he could have been trying to get closer to the stage, but then again, arms can be kept to the side, no?
But I was way too much of a coward to tell him to get off. Yup, I'm pretty much an idiot.
Still, later on I found out that sexy boarding school boy was back in Houston so I'm fairly happy, for now.
Oh, and I came back and my hair was super tangled and I pretty much looked like shit (the bottom of my jeans were soaked in beer) and we ate cookies..
I left for the show in on leap day in February,I got back in March.
Fucking amazing, no?