We Humped Like Gorillas

Gage & I are okay now.
Still awkwardly friendly, but I hate him less.

Just got back from Bee & Lucy's.
Turns out that we're okay now.
Hmm, this is good.
Julie, Penn, Henry, & Manny were there. As was my Angry Friend (shy, not v. talkative girl who gets mad easily, but is chill too). She's listener, like me.

Anyway, Henry was being flirty (hurrah!) but Penn was pretty cool too. Henry was better though. Manny was just sitting there shooting water at everyone.

This really fucky thing happened where Bee & Lucy's HUGE dog tried humping me (think like... 120 pounds). I started running, then I realised that my top had come untied. Everyone was on the trampoline watching me with my arms across me while being chased mercilessly by their dog. And I'm not the fastest person.

I couldn't stop to tie my top because then I would get humped. I couldn't keep running because my top would come off...

And Penn may have seen my nipples. I was trying to get a water balloon nozzle off the top of a hose and my top came untied. Ugg ugg ugg. They're really ugly, otherwise I would be excited by this. But I don't think he did because later, I was helping him tie a water balloon and he was able to look me straight in the eye while we were talking.

I have a love/ hate relationship with my bikini.




Turns out I don't get my phone back.

School's Out

Scream and Shout.

Not really.
More like start crying at the end of your school song.
And stop crying about an hour and thirty minutes later.
While sitting down.
On your shower floor.

:/

I am going to miss everyone. Even the people I don't talk to.
I had five minor freak outs that consisted of,
"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God."
or
"I can't... I can't... I can't..."
Meaning that I cant leave.
Or make people cry.
Or whatever.

This sucks.

Haha, I did go commando to graduation as a last "FUCK YOU" to my school.
Good times, good times.
Thank Gage for Spain, no?

Rasp- nothing really happened with Gage, I've just been replacing all "God"s that haven't been actually SAID with "Gage"s. (i.e. the post above).
Cait- yeah, it is :)

I got my cell phone back.

You are not your Fucking Khakis

This will be really short.
School ends tomorrow.
The culmination of eleven years...
Oh Gage, I'm getting this sick feeling at the pit of my stomach.


Saw Fight Club for the first time yesterday.
Now I'm obsessed.
I watched it two times in a row, nonstop.

Suspense, eh?

Ah, so after I let my sister out of the closet...
She was like, "I'm really pissed off right now".
But now we're good :)



I am Penn's favourite girl in the grade :). Oh, and he likes it when I hug him from behind. Perhaps he's having gay fantasies about Joe? Maybe this conversation will help you decide:
Me: Yeah, but it's like all the guys in the grade have a gay crush on Joe.
Penn: But... he's just so... COOL!

Yeah, that kind of killed it for me.

Why Livia Took my Phone Away

So I'm not quite sure yet, but this might give you an idea of life with me.
And my sister or whatever.

So my parents had company over. My sister and I didn't know that so we decided to heat up delicious 99 cent Totinos pizza. Of course Totinos pizza is kind of embarrasing so my sis refused to eat it in front of my parents company. She got bored with the conversation and she didn't want to be rude so she decided to go work out.
This is where things go wrong.
I went into her room with her;
Went into her closet with her;
And locked her in.




Oh Joyous Day!

The Worst Thing about Finals

No, it isn't the fact that you can't talk.
No, it isn't the sitting down until your legs are numb.
No, it's not that you don't really see anyone in your grade for about a week.
It might be the studying, but that's not the point of this post.
Nope, it's the timing.

Or the fact that finals are timed.

Why is this bad? you may ask.
Hum... maybe it's because right after lunch (and a lotta water)
you digest.
then you don't realise how full your bladder is
until,
LO AND BEHOLD!
YOUR STOMACH IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!

Okay, not really, but having to choose between relieving yourself and finishing a math problem shouldn't be a problem people have to face at such a young age.


Normally I LOVE finals week!

Love

write it on your arm.
keep it on until saturday.
let people know you care.


www.twloha.com

I Feel GOOD!

nanananananana
I know that I would, now
nanananananana
I feel fine
nanananananana

Okay, I don't remember the rest of the words.
(that's what they were singing last night as I tried to fall asleep)
YUP, STILL GOING ON!

Reply to Raspberry:
Out on the 30th of May.
And yeah, I'm gonna miss everybody.
Yup, I'm going to boarding school, so y'all get to read about that!

Shopping was amazing.
I feel very pretty now!

And Liv still hasn't given me my cell phone back.

50th Post

YAY!
In celebration I'm speaking to my sister again.
Okay, so I'm not sure if that's a good thing.
(I still don't have my phone)

Today we had sort of a graduation chapel.
All of our teachers gave us talks and et cetera.
I cried so much.

Normally I don't cry.
Like, last year, when everybody cried at stuff, I didn't.
But now it's like WAAAAAAAHHH! WAHHHH! OH MY GA... WAHHHHHHHHHHH!
ick.

I'm going shopping tomorrow.
Nat, Syd, Alice, I WILL MISS YOU!


Hopefully the performances are over now since its the end of the week!

My Family is in the Mafia!

Okay, yeah, supreme overexaggeration.
But yeah, they seem to bribe me a lot.

My parents threatened to take away Spain unless I apologised to my father.
Which, knowing my father, will only piss him off more because I "do not want to apologise".

My mother isn't letting me go to Natalie's after graduation unless I clear stuff up with my dad. MOM, DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR HUSBAND?

UGGG!
But in her eyes, dad can do no wrong.

Oh, and my sister went out and bought me a Burt Bees Radiance Kit. She even put it into a little purple bag and added tissue paper. I'm not quite sure what to do with it... I just want to be like, "Take your fucking kit! I want a sister who will actually side with me on stuff. Have you heard of any other fucking sister who GROUNDS their little sister? I HAVEN'T!" Eh. Yeah, she still has my cell phone.

Disclaimer: Sorry, Syd, I wasn't gonna write about this but the beginning of my post made me way depressed.
On a lighter note, I got mad at Penn for liking Cherie more than me (he does this to everyone ALL the freaking time). Yeah, but he flirts with her frequently. Taff and Cherie in the same proximity, guess who he's with? So later, on our way to lunch, he walked over to me and whispered this in my ear, "I definitely like you more than Cherie". Then he hugged me.

I floated down to lunch.


Hmm... this is really annoying. I live downtown so I'm near all the arts and stuff. It can be pretty convenient, but there's ONE thing. We're near ALL the arts. Even the ones that make noise. Like the outdoor theatre. So yeah, it's kinda difficult when I want to go to sleep early because I just hear random segments of words and everything else is just jumbled.

I'll be sleeping then:

WHOO HOO, WHOO HOO, WHOO HOO!
(instruments)

my sister is a bitch.

Literally.
Like she is a dog.
And a female.



I don't know why I said that, it's not true.
She is a bitch though. (of the metaphorical sense)
So anyway, remember the Mother's Day fiasco with my dad?
Well I confronted him about it (we haven't really been speaking).
And he went: "Well why did you have to get hurt?"
Still no apology.
My mother always takes my father's side. (even though he is an asshole to everyone)
Basically she told me that I still need to lose weight.
A few curse words. (on my part)
Getting disowned.
My mother responding like... a mature four year old.
Missing articles and everything.
The fact that she argued back may not have helped things.
In case you were wondering, I have no respect for my parents.
Yup.

I WILL FUCKING KILL MY SISTER.
Okay, no. I'm (mostly) not a psycho.
She took my phone away.
Oh, and not at the bidding of my parents.
No, just because she could.

I'm not sure if I'm ever getting it back.

Seriously, I think she has control issues.

i am no longer speaking to anyone in my household

i guess the title sort of sums that one up, eh?

HaRoOoOOo!

Okay, yeah, sorry about the title. I've just always had the urge to tYpe LiKE tHis.

You know the dealio!



So lately Penn's actually been paying attention to me. (thank Gage!)

Oh, and I'm starting to hate Gage. This has nothing to do with the random flirtatiousness, I just... dislike his character.

It might have something to do with the fact that yesterday, he pulled out a shitload of my hair.

I pull his hair.

Gage: Pull me up!

Me: Okay

(I proceed to pull).

Gage: OW, STOP!

Me: Gage, you're so softheaded.

Gage: Let me pull your hair.

Me: Fine.

Gage takes my hair, puts it over his shoulder and BENDS FORWARD.

crack. crack. crackcrackcrack.

After like two minutes:

Me: OW, STOP!

Gage: Hehehehe.

Me: Jesus Christ, Gage, that fucking hurt!

Gage: You had it coming.





WTF? But yeah, this dislike started before the hair pullage...

Oh, and I'm also starting to like Bee & Lucy (Bee more).



I'm glad that the schoolyear is almost over. I hate all the work we have to do.... UGH, but we're leaving. And that sucks.



Syd & I are better.



Sorry for the short posts lately, I hope this one was long enough.
(not that anyone actually cares, but humour me?)

RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!

Writing a history paper about Marilyn Monroe.

Haven't actually started yet.

Slight drama with Sydney. I'm not quite sure what I think about it yet. Read about it in Alice's Blog.

I sort of yelled at her earlier.

I love Radiohead.

Field day sort of sucked.

You know those days where you just end up feeling a LITTLE bit blue?
Today's one of those days.
The end.

Doritos are Bad for You!

Ah, so turns out that Henry asked out Kenzie this weekend. She "likes him" and she said no! WTF? Henry is gorgeous man meat!

Okay, sorry, I fear that my obsession with Henry has gone too far.

Roy is having girlfriend trouble. Quite frankly, I don't know if I'm attracted to him anymore. Now I'm just praying that they stay together.



Oh, the weirdest thing just happened.

Someone rang our doorbell like five times.



I was napping.

DING!

I wake up.

DING!

DING!

I walk to the bathroom, I figure the person will just use their key or something.

DING!

DING!

Ah, as soon as I got out of the bathroom, I DIDN'T SEE WHO IT WAS!



It's crazy. I don't think anyone in the world would be enthusiastic enough to see my parents to need to ring the doorbell five times.



Me on the other hand....













Jaykay :)

Mother's Day? I THINK NOT!

It's Bash Taffy Day!


Ah, so for some reason I hate going out to eat with my father. Maybe it's because he always comments about my eating habits. Perhaps, it has to do with the fact that we don't ever really have anything to talk about and I snap at him, which makes me feel bad. No, I'm pretty sure it has to do with his ability to make me cry at least 20% of the times we go out.
Yes, in public.
And he never apologises.

Today, it went like this.
squeezes my arm and makes a face.
"tsk."
looks over at my mother.
if she's not there, skip to the next part.
"You need to work out more."
points at stomach.

I love it.

And turns out I have a reputation.
I know I'm already a self proclaimed slut, but it's a little different when someone else calls you one...

Apparently, Julie was on the phone with Manny and his friend Wesley (not the same one from our school).

Wes: So wait, is Aubrey a slut?
Manny& Julie: NO!
Manny: But you know who is?
Julie: Who, Manny?
Manny: Taffy is.
Julie: No she isn't.
Manny: What about all that stuff she did with Gage?
Julie: Gage and Taffy have their own special relationship.
Manny: Suuure.
Julie: Taffy is not a slut.
Manny: Okay.


Ugh.
Thank Gage I'm going to boarding school.
Manny, you just lost your right to touch me.

Sprinklers...

Okay, so our school recently installed sprinklers in a field my mother and I walk by in order to get to our cars. For some reason, (EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE FREAKING ON), I hadn't realised that there were sprinklers didn't until I was drenched.
Ughh...

Anyway, Gage has been extremely flirty.
With me.
AND
WITH BEE!
Indirectly, this means me=Bee.
NOT COOL!

During English, I accidentally hit Nat's 5-foot-1 ex in the arm. He was like, "that hurt, kiss it!" So, I did. Then he accidentally hit Gage in the eye and Gage goes,
"Taffy, kiss it."
"No, Gage."
"You kissed (5-foot-1-ex)."
"Okay."
So yeah. I have no will power.
Multiple hugs.

We also used to do this thing while walking to/from English where I'd stop and he'd walk right up behind me so his crotch it touching my ass.
It happened again today...
I sped up really quickly and kept walking.
And then on the way to a class meeting, he decided to ask, "Is it yellow today?"
UGH!
YOU PIG!

Yeah, that's my rant.
Plus, I've decided that Gage has no personality whatsoever and is a less cool version of Chuck. Except chunkier and less sexy.

And Penn is being flirtier again (thank Gage!). Today he kept sitting on my lap in P.E. then wrapping his arms around me.
HURRAH!

The end.

Oh yeah, I forgot,
Gage also mentioned something I said about him kissing like a fish...

Oh Gage Almighty

Hahaha, get the title?
If not, replace Gage with God.
(in case we haven't already established this, I have no life)
Also, Gage is super Catholic.
BAHAHAHAHAH.
Okay, yeah, sorry.

Right now my parents decided to have a random party and invited all of my cousins & et cetera. Cousins & et cetera means all of my neices & nephews (one who happens to have my mobile and is playing tetris as obsessively as I play it :/). AND, of course, my pedophiliac uncle.
He:

• gives overly long hugs
• follows them with back pat/ RUBS
• corners you and asks you awkward questions
• comments on how beautiful you look

He's just creepy and uncomfortable...

That isn't the point though.

The point is that Gage has been flirting with me, lately. A lot. Even though he's supposed to REALLY like Barbie...

Today in English I was walking by him. He was lying down with his head on the floor. When I walked back to my place by the table where the teacher was trying to show us something. This happened.
"Taaaaaffy".
(ignored).
"Taaaff, TAAAFF!"
I suppose that didn't really need an exclamation point, he was whispering.
"WHAT, GAGE?"
"I saw."
Lecherous smile.

Ever since Wednesday, he's been giving me these really tight hugs and staring at my boobs. GUESS WHAT, GAGE?

IT'S PADDED!

IT'S PADDED!

Okay, well, sometimes. Anyway, Alice noticed it too. He's being a flirt- monster with me. It seems as though Barbie (GORGEOUS Barbie), is not enough for him. Fucking asshole. Oh, and let me explain the "I saw," thing. It's been an insided joke that started right about when we started being FWB (friends with benefits). Long story short, it means that he saw up my skirt.

Later, I went back upstairs to get Spanish homework and Alice & I stopped at his locker. We were leaving and Alice was talking to someone else when Gage pulled me aside and gave me this really tight hug. Then he whispered in my ear, "Were they yellow?"

I gave him a pissed off look.

He gave me a thumbs up.

Yellow being my thong.

Also, after Gage's reflirt started, I think Chuck decided that he didn't hate me anymore because he's been flirty again. Thank Jesus.

And Taylor hasn't spoken to me since Monday.

Oh, and Roy is this guy I know who goes to the brother school of Nat's St. Yellow.
He's a senior and he has a girlfriend.

For some reason that hasn't kept him from flirting with me. Calling me lascivious. Asking me to treat him to York mints. Oh, and referring to me as "my sexy."

I really hate the name Roy, but that's the only name that I could think of that suited him.

IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Me:
hey
neutral?
SBSG:
what up
YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING GANGSTER, SBSG!
Me:
i'm really really incredibly bored
you?
okay, it looks like I pretty much forgave him.
SBSG:
i wish i was. i have fucking hours of work
Me:
ew.
haha, sucks
so question:
okay... yeah...
SBSG:
yup
Me:
on a scale of one to ten:
how much do you hate me/ think i'm a major freak
SBSG:
11
OH SHIT, I WON'T BE POPULAR AT ALL!

im just kidding. why are you asking me this?
Me:
eleven being bad or good
asking because of recent conversations via text
truthful...
SBSG:
haha
Me:
i really hope you were kidding
because i want to keep on thinking that you're normal
okay, yeah, I'm totally asking to get raped.
SBSG:
dont worry im not a completly serious guy
I really hope so, SBSG, I really hope so.
Me:
fantastic :D , i hate you a little less now
completely serious.
SBSG:
and trust me im not that sketch
OR ARE YOU?
Me:
good.
so lets have a normal conversation.
go
SBSG:
um you can start this one
Me:
fuck, i have nothing to say
SBSG:
nor I
Me:
lol, so whatcha working on?
SBSG:
i have to work. il talk to you later
history paper
OMGAH! is this him dismissing me?
Me:
kay bye



NO, I haven't fallen for him again, I'm just hanging on to the hope that he's a regular guy and I'm not going to lose my virginity (accidentally) while at boarding school.

Crapsicles!

Okay, another SBSG post...
Well, anyway, after the last conversation with him
I added
"Sorry, I'm kinda hungover right now and can't really think"
Ah, that may have negated my "that would be rape" statement.
FUCKKK
Oh, but this DEFINITELY made it back into a no:

SBSG: Listen I don't want anything o say to you or you say to me getting to anuyone else.
GOD DAMMIT, SBSG, IF YOU WEREN'T HOT YOU'D BE DEAD RIGHT NOW! So yeah, this really pissed me off. In case you were wondering, translation:
Listen, I don't want anything I say to you or you say to me getting to anyone else.
BAHAHAH! Too bad I haven't said anything worth blackmailing me with, SBSG!
Me: First of all, that was disgusting. No, i don't want to have sex with you. Up until that text i thought you were normal. Second of all, if you're trying to get into a girls pants, you don't say that. Seriously.
:) I told him!
he hasn't texted back yet...
I'm planning on sending him this diamond:
WHAT? NO REPLY?
BAHAHAHAH

Okay, yeah, sorry, I'm a freak. But he totally deserved that. And I have the sick feeling that I may be the only one who knows about this side of him.
On Sparkey (a dating thing on facebook), he was voted "most well mannered".
Hm....
Oh, but I can't send that last text, he's actually really popular. Popular guy with girl who turns popular guy down: BAD NEWS.

howdy doo dah!

AHHH!
OK(l-a-h-o-m-a), Oklahoma went really well!
I got a lot of compliments for my acting (which sounds braggy, but I'm excited!). It's sad though, because this means that school is almost over.
For field day, we our mascot is a panther. Delilah (who we had this drama with waaay back when, but now most is normal except we don't really talk to her that much...) is the panther! Oh, but I get to be her "handler!". Okay, wait, that sounds kina pervy.

The rest of my week went pretty well. Turns out Gage & Barbie are really into each other. I think it's sweet :). Ah, but I no longer have a makeout buddy. Which sucks, because I'M HORNY. Oh God, yeah, if I were you I would stop reading this blog.

I did end up getting a talk from Alice, Nat, and Syd today. Kind of awkward. It was mostly about me being... 'out there' with guys. I started to understand what they were saying toward the end but apparently there's more?

AHAHA, oh, one more thing! Apparently, Henry's parents might hate me now. Reason:
His cousin was looking through his phone and found this gem by me:
"Goodnight, penis monster."
And his cousin likes to get him in trouble.
So he told Henry's brother.
Who told his parents...
Yeah...

Hum... I think more happened over the week but I can't remember.
I have to start blogging daily again.