Oh Sam...

How I have underestimated you.

Sam is like that once girl in your little circle of friends, who you actually hang out with, A LOT... but she's annoying, and nosy, and untrustworthy...
Oh Sam, how I have underestimated you.

So today for play practice (where I forgot ALL of my lines), we left school and came back later. Last week I invited both Nat & Alice over. But not Sam, oh, not Sam. Alice accidentally mentioned it in front of her.

Last Friday, I received this text from...

HENRY, PROFESSING HIS LOVE!!!

No, it was actually Sam.

"So, did you invite me over for Tuesday or Thursday?"

Oh, Sam. You are a genius.

awwww!

okay, i'm sick
i got a fever and all that shit
but that's not the point.

the only reason i'm telling you this is because:
i missed school today
which wouldn't really matter
BUT

HENRY JUST CALLED TO MAKE SURE I WAS OKAY!

:)

I Woke up Feeling Very Sexy

Penn Hug Count: 43

Yesterday there was this progressive dinner thing. It was actually pretty cool! We went to one person's house to eat appetizers, one person's house for dinner, then this clubhouse thing for dessert & a dance.
And the DJ was SMOKIN'. Basically, I stood up at the DJ stand and flirted the whole time.
And for about two seconds during every song, me and Henry grinded.
w00t. (jk).

AH, but then I came back and here's what happened.

SBSG: Hey you
I decided not to text him back for like... thirty minutes.
Me: Hello
SBSG: I gana be stright forward woth you. I'm gana fuck the shit out of you when I come home
translation: I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to have a lot of sex with you when I come back home.
JESUS, when is he gonna learn how to spell?
Me: Good for you. But that would be rape. Third tops, and i'm in a relationship right now.
okay, so that was a total lie (the bf thing).
SBSG: Nah fuck that
HOLY CRAP! NO ERRORS!
Me: Sorry hon, maybe next time.
SBSG: Nah I don't thinl so
THINL ISN'T EVEN A WORD.
Think, perhaps, THINK?
Me: Don't think so about what?
SBSG: Nah
#2
Me: Made no sense... Sorry, love.
SBSG: Nah so who's the boyfriend.
#3
Me: Jake Rowland
I do actually know someone named Jake. And I know someone with the last name Rowland. I do not know someone named Jake Rowland.
SBSG: Does he have a big black cock
CORRECT SPELLING!
Me: He's white. Medium sized.
no reply
Me: Night.
SBSG: Ye: fuxk you
Me: (in the morning) Aw, is someone a little angry?
SBSG: Nah
#4
Me: That's good. You realise that youve texted "nah" back like 20 times already. It's starting to get a little overused.
SBSG: Nah babe.
Me: I don't know how to reply to that.
SBSG: And why is that

I haven't said anything yet.
Any ideas?

Hot for Teacher

DAMN IT! No real talking with SBT :/.

Right now I'm texting Aubrey. She just saw Pierce (weiiiiiird ex- boyfriend) at the movies. Apparently she doesn't dislike me. Good to know.
Bee and Lucy on the other hand...

GAGE IS GOING OUT WITH BARBIE! I always thought that his crush was on Kate! The theory is that they're only together so that they can get "experience". Hmmm...

Henry or Penn.
(not that I actually get a choice, but if I did...)
Nat, I know you think our boys are geeks,
but I like them better this way.

Penn has many good qualities. He's a tad (just a tad) more honest than Henry, though. Not in a good way. In a blunt "I'm an honest asshole!" way. And he cracks lots of jokes under his breath. We've been counting our pointless hugs this week and so far, we're up to 38. Today, I was sitting on his lap listening to his iPod. I then went to talk to Natalie and when I came back, I ended up sitting on the chair next to him. The conversation proceeding went like this:
Me: Hey, sorry for sitting on your lap earlier. Was I crushing you?
Penn: Sort of.
the end.
And the whole time during play practice, I realised that my crush may be going on him...
(two school crushes= BAD)

Henry is easier to talk to, methinks. The conversations just flow better. Idk, his hugs are not nearly as good as Penn's though. (it might have to do with the 10 inch... HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!) He can also be an asshole though. Ugh.
Two conversations today:
we were talking about calling people back
Me: ...so have you ever asked for a girl's phone number?
Him: Yeah. So normally I call once and then I don't talk to them again. So I delete their numbers.
Me: You better not delete my number.
Him: I will never delete your number.
AWWWWWWWWW!

texting:
Me: I'm hot for teacher.
Him: I've got it bad.
Me: Bad, so baaad. Haha, yeah, I'm cool.
Him: Your learning. Taylor's chode. Cough cough. G2g. Placement tests manana. Adios Conchita.
yeah, I forgot to tell you. Henry knows about the penis pictures... Conchita is this character in this Spanish soap opera we watch in class. Now that I think about it, it's kind of an insult. JESUS, WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
Me: Adios, Rafael.
Character weirder than Conchita. But they're in this little love thing sooooo...
Him: Haha, Yo me gustan las chicas simpaticas que quieren la musica. Adios.
Translation: I like funny girls who love music.
STUPID FLIRT! I wonder if he's figured out that "gustan" in Spanish has more of a romantic conotation...
Crush is officially on Henry.

That's the end of my rant. I hope something happens by the end of the year... BUT, I doubt it.

Normal, I Suppose?

AH, so today with Alice it was completely normal.
No lingering hatred.
No uncomfortable silences,
HURRAH!

I also blocked Ross on AIM & MySpace.

Anyway, Alice I have to admit that for a period of time, I was paranoid (okay, because I am a slightly paranoid person) that you were out to get me...
Yeah....

So Gage and I shared an IM today about how now we're going to try to have normal conversations. (yeah, righhhhht).

I don't have much more to say. OH! Wes is going out with Lucy now. AND HE'S STILL FLIRTING WITH CHERIE! AND SHE'S FLIRTING BACK!

Bee is going through major friend drama with Aubrey...
And Julie (my closest friend in the Stewards) is going to tell Cherie about me and Gage and our little... M.O. session. Which reminds me, I HAVE TO CALL HER!

ew.

Okay, so two real names I'm using are my brother's and my sister's.
My sister's name is Livia. No "o" in front (olivia). No, its not a nickname, that's her real name.
My brother, on the other hand, is named Jason.

So there.
Reason I'm bringing this up?
About an hour ago, my brother freaked the CRAP out of me by saying that he had read all of my texts. Yeah, here is an example of a daily conversation.
Me: AWW, does your penis need a hug from my vagina?
...
Nuff said.
(I later found out that my bro was bluffing.... fucking asshole)
Anyway, I recently decided to purchase a bunch of ringtones.
Not good, now I owe $87. 31 to my brother.
I guess I don't get to get those purple skinny jeans...
ALSO, I met someone over the internet...

http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll132/Coconut12345/me.jpg

what do you think?

and... urgh, awkward between me and Alice still.
I'm trying to be as nice as I can be and... idk, I'm trying to be the best friend I can be, but it's still major awkward betweet me and her. Seriously, I think she's still angry with me. And it sucks. I hope we still talk while I'm at boarding school, but things aren't looking so great. And I don't really think we have enough time at the end of the year to patch things up.
Lots of ands...

I Suppose I'm Tagged, Eh?

Tagged By: Olivia

Here are the rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules in your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers' blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

So here are the facts:

1. Six is my least favourite number. No, it has nothing to do with "666" or whatever, I simply don't like the number. I didn't like it before I learned of its symbolic meaning, I still don't like it. I was seriously considering changing all the link things to seven.
2. I crack my knuckles. A lot. Sometimes I do it just to piss people off.
3. I tend to procrastinate until the last day. Like right now, while I'm supposed to be working on some reee-tard cube project, I'm doing this.
4. I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets, however, I'm pretty good at keeping secrets of others. Doesn't seem like that's possible, but it is.
5. Sometimes I bite my dog. There's no reason behind it, I just do.
6. I hold grudges. If you stole the pink construction paper in third grade, I still hate you.

So here are the links:

This is Natalie Bright
The Heights
Confessions of a Teenage Wannabe
I Need More Drama
Diary of a Third World Fashionista
Uber Chic

Fuck the Ants.

WHAT'S THAT?

The drama is over, you say!

Three cheers, HIP HIP HURRAY!

Sorry, I didn't mean for that to rhyme....

And although there is still a bunch of mega confusion and such, the drama is OVER. Alice and I will go on to Monday with an even stronger, more honest friendship. (Hopefully).

Urgh, I'm too lazy to write about it. If like... four (that seems reasonable, eh?) people comment on this post asking about the drama, I'll take CRUCIAL time out of my day to describe it. Okay, actually I have no life so it won't really be any trouble...

Faye's house was fun yesterday, we played lots of Rock Band (addictive, but I SUCK ASS at the drums :]). Either way, it's nice to get away from everything. But then the most peculiar thing happened....

SBSG Established conversation!

SBSG: Hey you. How's life in (place where I live)?
hey you. Aww, okay, I still think this is incredibly cute. This is what he first said before he asked me out. Ugh, why does he have to be an ass?
Me: Boring. I'm playing rock band :). You?
SBSG: I'm about to go to sleep. I feel resally shitty
Ah, but he still doesn't know how to spell...
Me: Aw, what's wrong?
SBSG: I don't know I'm just exhausted
DID HE SPELL EXHAUSTED CORRECTLY? I BELIEVE HE DID!
Me: I hope you get better. For some reason you always when youre about to fall asleep...
SBSG: Always what?
Me: Text me.
SBSG: Haha oh I'm just very bored.
Me: So i'm either really boring or really entertaining :)
SBSG: No you entertain me.
Me: Glad to hear that.

the end.
GOD, NO FLIRTING, SBSG! YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, REMEMBER?

Ah, but when one guy shows interest, that's usually when all of the other ones come back...
Ugh, sadly, it works the other way too.

Worst Friday. Ever.

So right now, I'm listening to the Federalists and feeling really chill.

And bad. I just sent Alice this REALLY angry message on Myspace.

Me+Angry= BAD.

Urgh.

I like having me time, I really do, but today left me feeling kind of... empty.

I hope things get better between me and Alice, but considering my state of mind right now...

If you want to see her side of this, look for Alice in Wonderland in my links. Or whatever the hell I have them labeled as.

If I Ever Decide to Get Married, I Want Buttons All the Way to my Ass

Ah, went to get a fitting for my sister's wedding. The dress is gorgeous :). I also found the perfect graduation dress... for $250...

Fuck.

Ugh, major friend drama. Confusion. Shit.
I'll write about it when I'm ready.

Right now I'm not accepting any calls, but I'm really tempted to call this one number I don't know back.

Alice, I don't want any apologies/ explanations on this page. I'll talk to you later.

Probably going to watch a movie with my brother. Then Nat's if it's early enough. Faye's tomorrow.

Ugh.

ess bee tee (SBT) is MAN CANDY!

Ah, so this is a post dedicated to SBT. While I was eating at a Tex-Mex restaurant (OMGAH, I LIVE IN TEXAS!) with Natalie and Alice. We felt really bad because today we had this grandparent-ish day today where you get out early from school and they were coming over while Sam... wasn't. When she saw us leaving together, she made this really depressed face, but not a fake one so we made up a lie...
Poor Sam...

SBT is so freaking sexy, like you have no idea. He has these intense blue eyes and... YUM. (I know, this is creepy). Apparently, I'm like a huge flirt with him. I'm incredibly glad that he hasn't noticed... Anyway, I'm feeling really confident because he told me that my five hour all-nighter essay was "excellent, that took you like five hours right?"
slow nod
"So think about what would happen if you put a little bit of time for the next research paper everyday. You have a month."
nod again. "Um, yeah, I've tried that but I tend to procrastinate. And by then I'm just like 'fu...dge it, i'm too tired' and I go to sleep."
he kind of smiles when I catch myself. "I was like that too, trust me, you're digging yourself into a deep hole."
And more of an intense talk.

BLAH. It's not just that I think he's hot. It's like... I genuinely like him. Which sucks, considering our SIXTEEN YEAR age difference. Urgh. I hope he divorces his wife. WHO HE ONLY DATED FOR A MONTH BEFORE THEY GOT ENGAGED! Okay, okay, I have to get over this.

let's talk about Gage...

Btw, In case anyone was wondering, I'm not Chinese. I HATE being called Chinese and I get incredibly pissed off when people call me that.

Ah, so Gage.
He has pretty much been forgiven, we're talking like normal and he's gone back to his pervy self. The whole time during English, he was looking up my skirt. When I realised this, I crossed my legs and pulled my skirt down. Then he left to go talk to Bee and Lucy.

UGH! Stuff like this is why I get mad at him. He's also SUPER hypocritical about Cherie, half the time he's always talking about how he hates her, then whenever he's around her he's this huge flirt. Same with Henry. And I seriously think he's embarrased by me. Honestly, I'm happier when I'm not talking to him. At least then he's trying to keep this friendship going. Other times he just takes me for granted and makes me feel really insecure. Like he says the rudest stuff, and he always ditches me for the Stewards, who ALL OF THE GUYS PRETEND TO HATE.

It's ridiculous. If I ever do make the decision to really end it, I'm ending it for real.
It may sound like I get pissed at him for no reason at all, but it's the little things...

CHEESE AND RICE!

Did I ever post anything about my fight with Gage regarding Taylor's dick?
Well he told Che.
I think I already posted this...
ANYWAY, I found out about that last monday (the seventh of April), and I managed to give him silent treatment up till today when a whole bunch of guys (including HENRY and CHUCK) told me that I was being immature.
I already tried the "be civil but don't be friends really" option. Doesn't work.
So after I told him, Oklahoma! play practice was extremely awkward. I've told him that I'm pissed but things are normal. Kinda. I was sitting next to him earlier and listening to his iPod when our knees touched (which, pre-fight, had no meaning whatsoever). We stayed like that for like, a second, when he realised that our knees were in fact... touching. OH FIE! Anyway, he sort of tensed up and ended up sitting with his knees bent and feet on the ground. Awkward.
I texted him five hours ago going, "Hey, can things go back to normal, please? Yes, I'm still pissed at you, but I don't want stuff to be this awkward anymore."
Reply:
(I would post it here, but too bad THERE WAS NONE!)
FUCKAROO!

Oh, and I have no chance with any of the guys in the grade. Or guys in general.
Love you :)

quit being a ho.

"Taaaaaaaafffy, hey, this is some random girl named Holly. I heard that you've been with a lot of guys. So yeah... quit being such a ho. See you at school."

WTF. I DON'T KNOW ANYONE NAMED HOLLY!
How is she going to see me at school?
And she had sort of a hispanic accent.
And the only hispanic friend I have is Alice
(who I've hurt repeatedly)
But this person had a different voice than Alice.
Still, supposedly Alice is hanging with a couple of friends today
SOOOOO... Yeah, she still hates me.
Fuck.
Guess I can't go to her quinceañera any more...

Oye, Syd, right now I'm eating a crunch wrap surpreme.

I cain't say no.

We just started rehearsing for our school's production of Oklahoma! and I'm cast as Aunt Eller.
Oh, and our musical is in three weeks.

Why, you may ask?
Why, because we have a retard music teacher (pseudonym: mrs. caterpillar, cat for short because... idk its and inside joke between me and Henry)
OH, but Henry is a mega flirt.
And Penn is once again huggy- and talky now that Gage is gone sick.
(Gage who I still haven't spoken to).

Friend drama is OOOOOVERRR! Thank God, I'm still worried about Alice because I hurt her so badly... Ugh, yes, Taff is a retard as well!

Went to some stupid dinner function thing for my parents tonight :/. I do love wearing dresses though!

Hmm... not much else to say.

what goes up must come down.

in this case the thing coming back down is...

my life.



UGH. This is so stupid.

It may seem like I'm making a big deal about everything.

And to Nat and stuff, it probably does.
I agree, I probably am.



Gage told CHE, of all people, (Gage once told Che something KNOWING that Che would tell people in order to break up with Cherie) about the Taylor pictures.

I talked to Natalie about this during lunch and she's like, "Wait, what do you call him, fat, fatass, woman, chubby, chubbycheeks, what are the others?"

Basically, she said it like I deserved it.

Hello, GAGE CALLS ME STUFF BACK. Even if I don't react to his name calling as much, it isn't fucking justified.

Second of all Nat, I'm seriously wondering if you have some sort of secret hatred for me. (This isn't calling you out or anything, I could just be paranoid and this could just be your personality)

When I started this blog I promised myself I would write the truth. I was seriously debating not doing so because you and Syd are the only two people who I actually KNOW who are reading this. And y'all are huge parts of my life. I just got off the phone with you. And yeah, I feel sort of bad about this (and I don't expect you to change yourself or anything), but the whole excitement you get from Alice's sister's hatred for me kind of sets of an alarm. I can understand the whole Jordache thing, but I'm still sort of confused about this.



Reason why I'm pissed: I told Gage not to tell anyone about Taylor and also the m.o. session in P.E.

Somehow, people have already found out about both.

hmm...



Also, Calvin told Alice about how Gage & I have kissed more than once.

Result: This Text from Alice-

Ok. Confession time. Yesterday i found out how even after my sis called u n cussed u out about u having made out wit gage, u kept making out wit him, completely ignoring how hurt i had felt then. I had gotten over it, but when i found out yesterday that u didnt stop i got mad/sad all over again. I didnt think u'd do that 2 me. I started crying n all that other shit. B4 that, i had no intentions of getting revenge on you. But then i woke up evil, like seriously wanting 2 ruin your life. I seriously considered it but now I don't want 2. Because as pissed as i am at u i dont wanna do that. And about gage telling ppl about u 2 making out... U shouldnt have done it if u didnu want anyone 2 find out about it later. It was bound to happen. And i'm sorry that this is all happening to you. About ppl finding out and stuff. And i'm telling u rite now that i wont be able 2 trust u the same again like i did b4. I want u and gage 2 make up. I love you taff. And i don't want evryone 2 see you as something else 4 my own benefits. I cant think of the other things i was gonna tell you. React how ever you want to. I want you to be honest with me.

AHHHH! THIS TEXT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA!Here Alice goes, being an amazing friend, and apologises for having RUDE THOUGHTS. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?NO!

Alice is amazing.

And the rest of my life has sort of gone to hell. And for some reason I
actually think I can talk to Henry about this crap. And I was coming
extremely close to telling him my feelings for him (before Gage decides to
pull and asshole stunt) even though I've made them so obvious that I'd
probably stop crushing on him if he hadn't realised them before I told him. (not really, i'd make up some excuse).
Hm... I had more to write about but then my mother had a freak out and I had to leave the computer in case she read this. Which would be extremely bad...Thank God I have friends outside of school.And Nat, I'm sorry if this seems bitchy and such and such and you probably don't have "cruel intentions" but i'm a retard.

push me, and then just touch me

till i can get my



SATISFACTION.



Two dances.



And they were way better than last weeks half grind party.

ahh, love love life :)



my mother is bugging me to do homework...

we'll see.



Warning: NEXT TWO PASSAGES COME OUT KIND OF POSER-Y



First Dance: School dance

I always love love love school dances.

Reasons for this one:

I know rock song lyrics which raises my popularity with the guys.

I can head bang and not look like a loser because people have gotten past the point of caring that I dance oddly...

Henry's game got rained out and he came to the school dance :)

(eyes met during slow dance, gravitational pull, et cetera, et cetera)

I actually got asked to dance during the slow dances instead of my usual "lets dance"
During the last dance, I ended up dancing with someone other than Henry.
When he walked by he called me a bitch. (kidding, of course)

I walked outside and talked to SBT a lot because they started playing really shitty music and I got really hot

Sam, Sydney, and Nat came over afterwards and we proceeded to poke Sam awake with school supplies.

Then we turned on the strobe light :D (don't ask)

Sucky thing: I started crying at the end of the school dance because I'm going to boarding school and I've been at the same school for over ten years.
A bunch of people didn't know what to do because theyve never seen me cry... Now that I think about it, it was pretty funny.

Next Dance: Lily, Bee, and Lucy's
Ah, so they did this semi- tacky, semi- cool thing where there was a red carpet when you walked in.
SBT was there to interview us.
<3
I had a really cute yellow minidress on with a rosette on the left side.
Hair in a bun.
Red Lips.
Henry couldn't go because he had a stupid baseball tournament.
Hot guy from a prep school djed.
I asked him to dance because Aubrey dared me to.
I got a "I would but it's against our policy. I really would"
SUUURE.
And techno music.
And more strobe lights :)

Also, note on last post: I didn't actually go over. We were kidding around. Sadly, Henry is still WAAAAY out of reach for me :/

I'm in LOVE!

me: swinging by at around 8 :)


henry: wear something tight.