I Woke up Feeling Very Sexy

Penn Hug Count: 43

Yesterday there was this progressive dinner thing. It was actually pretty cool! We went to one person's house to eat appetizers, one person's house for dinner, then this clubhouse thing for dessert & a dance.
And the DJ was SMOKIN'. Basically, I stood up at the DJ stand and flirted the whole time.
And for about two seconds during every song, me and Henry grinded.
w00t. (jk).

AH, but then I came back and here's what happened.

SBSG: Hey you
I decided not to text him back for like... thirty minutes.
Me: Hello
SBSG: I gana be stright forward woth you. I'm gana fuck the shit out of you when I come home
translation: I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to have a lot of sex with you when I come back home.
JESUS, when is he gonna learn how to spell?
Me: Good for you. But that would be rape. Third tops, and i'm in a relationship right now.
okay, so that was a total lie (the bf thing).
SBSG: Nah fuck that
HOLY CRAP! NO ERRORS!
Me: Sorry hon, maybe next time.
SBSG: Nah I don't thinl so
THINL ISN'T EVEN A WORD.
Think, perhaps, THINK?
Me: Don't think so about what?
SBSG: Nah
#2
Me: Made no sense... Sorry, love.
SBSG: Nah so who's the boyfriend.
#3
Me: Jake Rowland
I do actually know someone named Jake. And I know someone with the last name Rowland. I do not know someone named Jake Rowland.
SBSG: Does he have a big black cock
CORRECT SPELLING!
Me: He's white. Medium sized.
no reply
Me: Night.
SBSG: Ye: fuxk you
Me: (in the morning) Aw, is someone a little angry?
SBSG: Nah
#4
Me: That's good. You realise that youve texted "nah" back like 20 times already. It's starting to get a little overused.
SBSG: Nah babe.
Me: I don't know how to reply to that.
SBSG: And why is that

I haven't said anything yet.
Any ideas?